Friday, May 29, 2009

The Ick Continues.

It's the Daily Day! Because he's the one who likes all our pretty songs.

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So--the same sick plot, a lame joke about Republicans disappointing the right--which they do by not ruining the country enough--and recycled artwork.

This is the epitome of Muir's epic suck. But I might speak too soon. The man can always top himself. So to speak.

Filthy Inferior Democrats!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because BEEEFCAKE!!!

Ah, yes. That effete weakling Kerry. The opposite of blue-blooded, draft-dodging man of the people, George W. Bush.

So Much Creepy in Three Little Panels...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because remember wacky wall-walkers?

In which Sam turns Japanese in two panels while doing a Jane Russell.

...That's the Joke?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Southern Comfort!

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Bears! Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOO BEARS!!!

Talk About Bottomless Cups...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because tonight I rubbed Aladdin's lamp.

I mean it! He just pours and pours that damn thing!

How the Hell Can She Hold THAT Position?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because some folks call it a slingblade.

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Bears! Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!

Yeah. Uh-huh. Right.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because do you mean the European or African swallow?

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Yep. Producing audiotapes. And running a militia in Pakistan with his homies. Oh, and cementing his position as spiritual father of the Sunni jihadist movement. Yep. We've sure showed him.

"Get Your Head Bashed In, Yippie!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Mother Nature--never wanted to say goodbye.

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Bears! Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!

That's Senator-Elect... Oh, You Know the Drill...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's your way right away at Burger King now.

The interesting thing about Muir's Al Franken is that he doesn't actually have any of Franken's habits and personality traits. He's essentially a random ball of negatives with the name Al Franken hung on them.

That's the "Volatile" Senator-Elect to You, Bub!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm Kilroy.

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You know the good thing about all these Al Franken strips is the titles write themselves.

That's Senator Elect-Mr. Bighead, Bub!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because crazy--that how it goes.

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Yeah. It's a pity they just couldn't do what Rush and his ilk did--find a multimillionare who's willing to finance through the tough years as they build up an audience, then brag loudly about how they are triumphant in the "marketplace of ideas".

"Soldier Who Fell For Your Country, You Did Not Fall On Deaf Ears!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because hooray for Captain Spaulding.

Yeah. You go Sam. Don't let the terrorists win.

That's Senator-Elect Court Jester To You, Bub!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because wishful sinful wicked blue water covers you.

Wait... does Muir think that's an insult?

Waha! Take That, Air America! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Stephanie says.

Of course, Al-Jazeera is extremely popular in the Arabic world, while Spirit of America is seen as a Western stooge, but hey, them's the breaks, when you write from a Square Planet.

Is There a Gas Leak at Mystery Business(tm), Maybe?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because quoth the raven, "Nevermore".

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Bears! Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOO BEARS!!!

The Boy Who Cried Don't Stand In Front of Oncoming Trains!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the little Bunny Fu-fu, damn it.

Right. Kerry's warning about an imaginary quagmire in Iraq, that was real, an imaginary global warming crisis that got even worse and the nonexistant dangers of Bush's economic policies that plunged the world into a dangerous recession. Such a worrywart.

"You Were a Rum Runner for the FBI?"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because horsefeathers!

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So--Muir's willing to admit the Bush administration isn't handling the answers well--but he blames the... media for this? Maybe?

Who Speaks For David Koresh?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because who ya gonna call?

It's good to know that Muir supports suicidal religious cults that kill federal officers. No way does he let the terrorists win.

That's Right! The Founding Fathers Would Have Been Pansies!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because gangbusters!

Heh! Aren't we lucky that the Founding Fathers weren't liberals?

Of course, actually they were, but remember--history isn't Muir's strong point.

Ummm... Toto... Pulled Back the Curtain...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because uncle Grandpa!

So is Sam... Jewish, maybe? What with the blintzes, and...

Ehh, never mind. I'm puting more thought into this than Muir ever did.

Muir, You Pathetic Putz.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because say it with flowers.

So Muir through his mouthpiece Zed speaks movingly of sacrifices that other people are making, many of whom in fact live in other nations, while he and his obnoxious creation stay safely here in the US.

All in the name of not letting the terrorists win, of course.

"Never Forget the Texas Widget Market!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you thought you were making your way to where the puzzles and pagans play.

I'm of three minds. Should I focus on the lousy pun, the question of what the hell does Mystery Business(tm) needed done in Texas, or the fact that Zed remains in the same position, pouring his coffee cup for the whole DAMN STRIP?

Pax Americana, Lefties!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because will you meet me in the air?

Heh! Stupid Hollywood types! This is the new American Empire, babies, and Bush is our new divine Emperor! USA! USA! USA! You only think Iraq is turning into a quagmire because you let the terrorists win!

...Gore Vidal?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's finger-licking good.

Moral 1: Remember--anything Ted Kennedy says is false because he once killed a woman in a (probably drunken) car accident.

Moral 2: When somebody accuses you of something the best way to disprove their accusation is to do exactly what they say you're doing.

Moral 3: SERIOUSLY! You're telling me Muir can't even manage a halfway competent Kennedy caricature? The man's got one of those huge Irish heads! It's a cakewalk!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Chris Muir Sucks the Inky Black Semen of Satan.

It's the Daily Day! Because the future's not ours to see.

So. Muir continues the tortured analogy between terrorism and abuse, and throws in more of the old Hillary is EVIL spiel. Personally, I think this strip crosses the line between the simple dumbass tastelessness that Muir usually indulges in into a realm of arrogant, ignorant petty evil. This is a man who, in thinking he is exposing his enemies' moral poverty, reveals the pathetic blasted squalor of his own soul.

If Muir were simply making an analogy between what he views as the similarity between the left's response to terrorists and abused spouses, it would simply be the words of a moronic ass. But that's not what he's doing. He creates a fictional case of an abused woman, then has it stand in for terrorism, trivilizing the entire problem of abuse. This is not the usual "Emperor has no clothes" effect of most of his strips--instead, it's the "Emperor rapes 12-year olds in public"*. Here, Muir moves beyond simply offending into the realm of actually disgusting.

It is not merely a bad strip. It is a shameful one.

*For those who want to accuse me of the same sin I say Muir is committing, realize my analogy is attempt to describe the intense disgust this strip fills me with.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A New Low.

It's the Daily Day! Because it's dirty!

You know, I was going to go into the whole Forrest Gump-style "the left is where the battered women are" meme in the strip, but then I realized...

Muir is comparing terrorism to domestic abuse.

I'll let that sink in.

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Yeah, I'm guessing you're as nauseated as I am.

These Colors Don't Run! Except When They're French.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because stupid darkness.

Reducing the occupation? That's crazy talk! We need to turn Iraq into the 51st State! USA! USA!

Johnny... Carson?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because for the benefit of Mr. Kite, there will be a show tonight.

So, Richard Clarke is clearly lying, because he's an evil liberal pawn who was appointed by Ronald Reagan by mistake, and now is inacting his evil liberal agenda by lying about how Bush handled things. Because he's liberal. And evil. USA! USA!

They Want to "Defend" Southern Women?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we see dead people.

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Okay, a tortured analogy to the KKK, AND a triumphant prediction of the annhilation of the Iraqi militia movement.

Sigh...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Philadelphia Freedom shine on me.

So remember--right and left are the same in their asshattery. There's no difference between a party that elects two unrepetent racists and a blogger who makes incendiary statements.

Kerry's a Commie! A War Hero Commie!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because sky pilot!

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The Right. Such class. Such patriotism. They ain't got let the terrorists win. USA! USA!

"I Wanna See Blood and Gore and Guts and Veins In My Teeth!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because DANGER--DANGER--DANGER!

Yeah. Every dead Muslim is a victory for the side of whi--America. Hell, who cares about side-effects. Just kill them all and let God sort them out.

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Ooh, boy, this strip gets to me, sometimes.

Yep, What They Did. Or What We SAY They Did. Same Difference.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because twinkle, twinkle, little bat, how I wonder where you're at.

And of course, conservatives need not fear, for their actions are always right and just, by dint of their being conservative.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Memo From Ike Turner

It's the Daily Day! Because Almond Joy's got nuts--Mounds don't.

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Bears! Bears! BEARS! GOOOOO BEARS!

Scarecrows Just Keep Getting Shoddier

It's the Daily Day! Because give more of the good stuff, baby.

So, now a days, Muir not only gives his straw liberals ridiculous viewpoints...

He makes them talk funny.

Isn't That How the Weavers Started?

It's the Daily Day! Because don't knock masturbation. It's safe sex with someone you love.

Ahh. Seeing yourselves as brave warriors against the hordes of "socialism". That's... healthy. Real, real healthy.

See! Lisping! It's Funny!

It's the Daily Day! Warning: made in a facility that processes peanuts.

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Bears! Bears!!! BEARS!!! GOOO, BEARS!

Stupid Dems! Looking Into Things!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there is water on the bottom of the ocean.

Pfft. Stupid Democrats. What do we need to investigate about a massive intelligence failure? Isn't 'Terrorists = Bad' enough to know?

Damon of York, Medieval Asshat

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we know which way our bread is buttered.

"Perhaps this situation is more complicated then I tend to acknowledge! Perhaps I should... consider things."

"Nah."

What Do the EXPERTS Know, Anyway?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Bess, you is my woman.

Clarke is clearly letting the terrorists win, and so what he says can be disregarded. Especially by a cowardly, bullying desk jockey who likes to wave his patriotism around. USA! USA!

The Worst Part is Knowing They're Going to Breed...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because baby you're a rich man too.

Ahh, the banter of Zed and Sam. It's like rat poison for my will to live.

Stop Hammertime! (I'm Sorry. Couldn't Help Myself.)

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because everybody got walk that lonesome valley (lonesome valley).

Yep. Of course, this is clearly some evil Liberal plotting against a just upright man of the people that will quickly be shown for the baseless slander that it is.

Yep. Uh huh.

"Foolish Weakling!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the poodles!

"Pfft. You can't get us by pointing out we lie. We're self-righteous sociopaths, capable of doing any action with no moral qualms whatsoever, AND THEN calling you immoral for calling us on it. Now excuse me--I have to go slaughter a convent. GOD TELLS ME TO!"

"You Fools Lack the Gift of True Vision My Right-Wing Talking Points Give Me!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there are flies in the ointment.

Remember--Kerry is a coward and a flip-flopper. Democrats are weak--Republicans are strong. Four legs good-two legs baaad!

Car Bombings are a Sign of Affection In Their Culture!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because look deep into my eyes. SLEEP!

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In a few years, he will be saluting the tiny tea-bagging movement. So savor the irony.

Screw Him AND Habitats For Humanity! The Poor Should Starve in the Streets!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because twitch of the death nerve.

This war was good! You liberals are just confusing people! Just wait. In a year--maybe two--this war will be going great! Watch!

Only Wusses Rethink Things!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because everbody jump.

Ah, the sterling courage of Republicans, as long as its some other bastard who has to take the punch.

After I Created Them Positive and Negative, Of Course.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the road that they walk is paved with gold.

Ha ha. Muir 9000, the depth of your humor programming is...

BURY THE AXE IN THE CIRCUITBOARD!!!

An Intelligent Answer? I Don't Need One of Those. Just an Emotional Counterpoint!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I too am a jelly donut.

Way to go Damon. You don't let those terrorists win. Nope.

Ahh, the Coalition of the Willing...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because sunshine on our shoulders makes us happy.

HA! That's right! How dare Kerry suggest this war is anything less than a glowing success! Our allies are loved for their aid to our righteous cause. Like the monkeys. The mine-detecting... monkeys.

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Yeah. Moving on.

Umm... Right...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because poor Calpigi.

Ahh. Nothing like humor about defunct conservative websites, eh?

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Moving on.

Maybe He'll Work Better In the Senate.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because my ring is useless against the color yellow.

Chris Muir, who writes a fourth rate webcomic declares Al Franken doesn't have the fanbase for a radio show.

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Ahh, sometimes these strips are funny. Just never the way they're intended.

Bet He Makes His Fingers into a 'Gun' While He Says That.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because shiny, shiny, shiny whip of leather.

Once again, desk jockey Damon strikes a macho pose, thus showing his dedication to not letting the terrorists win.

Actually doing things is for other people.

Flip a Coin, Damn It.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because who's that creeping on my wall?

Right. Kerry's a flip-flopper. Ha. Repeat that for an entire election year, cheer in triumph, and watch as Bush fucks us up.

Also... Bears.

Martha Stewart = Jailbird = Funny

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because love for sale.

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Keep at it man! You can beat this thing! You can do it!

Who's Saying/Thinking That?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon.

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS!

We'll Bury the Body In the Woods. No One Will Ever Find It.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because my mom says I'm cool.

Oh Great Spirit--Bears! Bears! Bears!

With the Asshole! The Other Asshole!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because penguins taste just like chicken.

Give me a 'B'! Give me an 'E'! Give me an 'A'! Give me an 'R'! Give me an 'S'! What does that spell?

BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS!

Oh, Who's Making Southerner Cracks Now?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because fish got swim, birds got to fly.

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BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOO, BEARS!

There's Always Time For Some Kerry Bashing!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I see all.

Remember--any change in position shows weakness/insincerity.

Bears. Come on. Bears.

What? You're All Italian?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because quanity has a quality all it's own. And yes, I know that Stalin said that.

Maybe they'll be eaten by bears. Very hungry bears. Work with me people!

Girl, I Wouldn't Get Out of This Chair If They Didn't Make Me.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because she looks like a flower.

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I'm going ignore Muir's usual sexism to state that Damon demonstrates that he is a lazy ass.

Puns. Puns! PUNS!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we need to talk.

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And once again, in the Muirverse, lame puns justify everything.

(Okay, this one isn't so bad, but still we're talking a level or two up in hell...)

Think About It, People!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the loons!

So--he wants it to be in space, maybe?

Yep! Kerry is Cautious and Tries to Avoid Offending People! The Maroon!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the chimp did it.

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Sigh. Sometimes I even wonder why I bother.

Drum Roll, Please.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because dance of the sugar plum fairies.

So. Called the Teresa Heinz-Kerry jokes some time ago, you will recall.

Slander Isn't Slander When You Slander a Democrat!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you can't sleep, or the clowns will eat you.

Of course, there's a bit more evidence on Bush's being AWOL, but we'll ignore that. Also, the fact that virtually everything we're saying is unsourced bullshit. Because Kerry's a Democrat, and Democrats let the terrorists win! USA! USA!

I Bet She Gives People the Black Power Salute!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I got a bee in my bonnet.

Once again, Chris Muir's Imaginary Black Friend tells Black America of its sins.

Old Reliable.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because schmoo!

Gosh, how I love being reminded that Zed and Sam are old. Yep. Makes my day.

America for Amerikans!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I don't know why I love you like I do.

Yeah--how dare genuine veteran Kerry assault Bush's phony patriotism! Phony patriotism is REALER than real patriotism, because it makes ridiculous demands on others while asking the user do nothing himself! USA! USA!

Ummm... No, That... Never Mind

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because scooby-dooby-doo...

Right. That's what the Democrats are asking for, Muir. And it's a crazy conspiracy theory to suggest Bush joined the Guard to avoid serving in the Army, and then wound up goofing off there when it wound up being too hard. Sure.

Kerry = Phoney, Bush = Real

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he makes me laugh.

Yeah. How dare a politician say things that are politically expedient! He's letting the terrorists win!

If he's a Democrat, or course.

And Enjoy the Chowdah!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because everybody go hey-hooo!

Yep.

No way the Republicans would place their Free Speech Zones in out of the way places. Uh uh.

Life On Mars?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you bring me closer to God.

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Yeah. Call waiting. I hear you.

Waha! Take That, Kerry! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it was something he had, and lost along the way.

Yup. Kerry's sense of entitlement is icky! Why can't he be an honest man of the people who just get us into unnecessary wars like Bush?

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2008, man. You've got 2008 ahead of you...

Good Lord, He/She Think's He/She's Witty.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because to sir, with love.

Because all the ACLU does is hate on religious icons. Yup.

A Serious Case of Head Up His Ass.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because if you have the bad luck to survive her, you have to pay for the funeral!

Wow. Nothing like a moron intent on showing how smart he is.

Yes there is such a thing as "scientific consensus". Yes, global warming is a real concern. And no, "Objectivists" are full of shit.

Real War Heroes SALUTE Killing!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I hate people when they aren't polite.

Glad to see your imaginary soldier friends agree with your views on Kerry, Muir.

Saint Damon the Obscure

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we're on our way.

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This is what happens when people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about go on too long.

Why Me? Why Me All the Time?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Marisol!

Ahh, yes. The Democrats' utterly false charges of military shirking on Bush's part.

And by "utterly false" I mean "completely true".

Is That... Reagan?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because red sky at morning, sailor, take warning.

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That's...

supposed...

to be...

Kerry?

I Shall Be Released!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because from you, talking to me, "friend" is a four letter word.

And so yet another storyline crawls to an ignoble end, reminding us that plotting is a weakness for Muir. Like drawing. And jokes.

Naked Justice!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because odds are, you already have.

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God, I hate this strip.

"We're Thinking of Changing the State Song to the Horst-Wessel Lied."

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because ignorance is no excuse.

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Yeah, the honeymoon is really over.

"Well, Aside From the Austrian Hausfraus Taking Over Everything."

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because ram it, clown.

I see the enchantment with Governor Schwartzneger has already worn off.

Drum Roll.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the heart is a lonely hunter.

It always does me good to see Muir's dedication to giving us bad filler in painfully dull storylines.

I'm sorry. Is my eye twitching?

Sociopathy 101

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he was paid in silver, not dollars.

"Who cares about a bunch of single moms? I'm the only one who matters! Me!! ME!!!"

Don't They Know I'm Special?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because death rides a horse.

So... through a series of unlikely messups, Sam was wrongfully accused, failed to take actions to correct it, and found herself facing penalties for this.

And this is all the law's fault. How dare it inconveniance Sam!

The Law is an Ass, I Say! An Ass!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there are but three furies in spacious hell, but in a great man's breast, three thousand dwell.

Oh, boy. I smell a storyline coming up. Full of trenchant observations on the law.

And by "trenchant", I mean "moronic".

It MUST Be a Mistake!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I am Grigory Arkadin!

Yeah. Why couldn't Bill have gone out of his way to offend Muslims while he was President?

Ha. Ha.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's summertime, and the living is easy.

I don't think Muir realizes that at a certain point making real people do ridiculous things ceases to be 'satire' and becomes 'lame humor'.

Then again, neither does SNL half the time.

Waha! Take That, Clark! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because shot through the heart, you're to blame.

Yeah. Clark sure is crazy. Because... you say he's crazy. Yeah.

"Don't They Know That God Talks Through You, Sir?"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he's a backdoor man.

Remember, having backed an adulterer once, the Democrats are in no position to assault the character of a cowardly, bullying megalomaniacal lifelong screwup and his staff of lying, manipulative sociopaths.

Squeal, Fatty! Squeal Like the Pig You Are!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the park.


Our cast never misses an opportunity to mock and humiliate each other. It's what makes them work together so very well.

People Who Live in Glass Houses...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he was bad, bad Leroy Brown.

Once again, a member of the cast shows their hatred for everyone else in the world's awesome stupidity.

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Remind me again--these people have SOME redeeming qualities, right?

The Finer Sort of Asshole.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we'll never leave you. No matter how hard you ask.

That's one thing about Day by Day's cast--they always look for new ways to show what douchebags they are.

"International Approval? We Don't Need No Stinking International Approval!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because--SPACE--the final frontier!

So once again--it doesn't matter why we do something because whatever we do is right, and saying anything different is letting the terrorists win. Also Gitmo is fun fun lollypopland.

Chris Muir. He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Pieta It Ain't.

It's the Daily Day! Because there goes a narwhal.

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Let me scour my eyes for a while. I need to get the massively deformed women in the last panel out of my head.

Stupid Democrats! Why Can't They Be Republicans?

It's All Our Yesterday! Because hey kids, take a walk on the wild side.

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This almost makes me want to jump ahead to 2008. But I'm a man of honor. We do this chronologically.

How Else Will We Use Our Green Lantern Rings?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because wowie zowiem you're so neat.

Typical liberal letting the terrorists win. It doesn't matter that the actions we have taken won't help us. Will--will is the key! With will we shall triumph! It will be a triumph of...

Oh, wait. Nevermind. USA. USA.

I'll Be Here All Week, Folks!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because they had turtle power!

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Why, why can't an asteroid strike Mystery Business(tm)? WHY?

Cause You Can See Her "Dirty Pillows"!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I am the wild boy.

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Moving on.

So--You Think Kerry Is... Funky?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the time has come!

You know... sometimes I just don't get Muir. I realize exactly what he's aiming at--but I can't figure out the way he chose to say it.

This is one of those times.

Waha! Take That, Larry Purporo! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because that's exactly what I said!

Not even being a Republican will spare you the wrath of Muir if you insult the right-wing blogosphere.

It's Not a Double Standard At All--It's Two Completely Different Standards Entirely.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because hush! Hush! I think I hear her calling my name!

Once again, when Democrats do something underhanded it shows they're congenitally criminal villains. When Republicans do something underhanded, it shows what monstrously clever fellows they are.

"I've Got a Death Ray in My Apartment!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because choo-choo!

Once again we get confirmation that the cast are a bunch of sociopathic megalomaniacs. Huzzah.

I Don't Think That Word Means What You Think It Means.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I can see through time.

Not like Uniter Bush, who united all of America into two camps, Those With Him, and Those Against Him.

Well, So Much For Dean...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's a bird, it's a plane.

Yep. Just--got hold out the election season. And the beginning of 2005.

Bush NEVER Flubs Things!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the night belongs to lovers.

Yeah. Three-time Purple Heart winner John Kerry is a pantywaist, says chickenhawk Damon who isn't in any hurry to enlist for the war he supports...

"Yep. AND I'm Clubbing Baby Seals."

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because shoo fly, don't bother me.

Yeah, what does Al Gore know about global warming?

Quite a bit actually. A lot more than Chris Muir.

Umm--No, Muir, That's Not Why We Want To Explore Mars...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because King Harvest is surely come.

"Why are we wasting time exploring 'em when we could simply blow 'em up?"

Stick to the Brother Man!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there's a horde of little men, living in my beard.

Yet more trenchent racial commentary from Muir's Imaginary Black Friend.

Lame Is a Good Word. Offensive is a Better One.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's chowdah! ChowDAH!

Why isn't Damon dead yet?

Ooookay...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I love to boogie.

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Yeah.

Nice one, Muir. Have you been--taking your meds?

YEAH! It's All the Same! KKK = NAACP!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we fear the unknown.

Once again, thank you Chris Muir's Imaginary Black Friend for reassuring Chris Muir that he's not a racist asshat.

JESUS FLYING FUCK! WHAT THE HELL?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there's a squirrel in my drink.

Those... things are supposed to be Dean and Sharpton? They look like finger puppets!

Democrats Are Phony! Hail Silver Spoon-Redneck Bush!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there's a man with a gun over there.

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Gonna be a long year in review.

Yeah, That Dean is One Crazy Guy For Not Liking Bush...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because just because you don't believe in Mr. Higgins, it doesn't mean that he doesn't believe in you.

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First, Dean loses. Then Kerry loses. And of course, then America loses.

So, Guess Who's Old?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there was a fly in the teleporter.

...

Did you know that WWI is directly responsible for the incredible length of Marcel Proust's Search for Lost Time? Well, now you do.

Oh, Wow. Never Seen This Before.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because that's the second biggest monkey I've ever seen.

Yeah. Zed's old, see?

Waha! Take That, Europe! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the king was in the counting room.

"Or we could blow it up! And then shit in their backyard! Cause who needs smelly old Europe anyhow!"

It Must Be Love.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's the day of the triffids!

...

...

Moving on.

So... They've Introduced Pigs to the Government, Then?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because first there is a mountain.

"Don't Liberals realize that Bush's unalloyed success has rendered them obsolete? Conservatism has demonstrated that a war-mongering inattentive government in thrall to the wealthy and powerful is what works!"

I'll Take "Disingenuous" For $200, Alex!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there is no 'p' in our ool.

So after comparing Liberals to Nazis, Muir criticizes comparing anyone to Nazis, in yet another example of his faux-balance.

Comparing People To Nazis Who Are Comparing Other People to Nazis Doesn't Count!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm going off the rails like a crazy train!

You know it is in bad taste to compare Hitler and Bush.

Hitler actually fought in a war once.

Soon, WE Will Have the One Ring!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because--Jenga!

Right. Meanwhile, Lord of Light Bush and his pals are authorizing torture. Can we say "EPIC Fail"?

But He's Already a Card-Carrying Member of the Dark Side!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because sometimes the sun goes round the moon. Well, okay, it never does that.

"We can't let Hillary complete her evil plans! They might get in the way of OUR evil plans!"

Wait... Hillary Has A Specially Recorded Call Song?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I got you under my skin.

As usual, Muir demonstrates that irony and he are not on speaking terms.

Ring in the New Year!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because love is a beautiful thing.

Well, I'm now officially started on 2004, or as I like to call it, the Year America Fucked Itself. So allow me state, after staring at what Muir shares with us...

Burn in the eternal fires of Hell, Muir. Assuming you even have a soul, which I doubt.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

It's All a Liberal Plot!

It's the Daily Day! Because we know where the bodies are!

Yeah! Pelosi practically waterboarded people herself! And the New York Times are going to let her get away with it! It's all a Leftist plot to take away our valuable right to torture people.

Deja Vu!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I gotta be true to myself.

I didn't like this strip when he first put up. I like it even less nearly a year later.

Snake Handlers Are the ONLY True Believers!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because baby's in black.

You know, I feel obligated to note that Chris Muir, who now resides in Florida, was born in Syracuse, NY.

I'm just saying.

Waha! Take That Dean! Take That Again!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because geese are fish!

"Well, he's got this thing called the 'Fifty States Strategy', but that's a couple years down the road..."

God, I'll be glad when Dean lets loose his mighty yell and falls out of the primaries.

Waha! Take That Dean! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Jerusalem, if I forget you...

Yeah! Dean is CRAZY! Only lunatics are mad at our beloved God-King!

Doesn't Sunlight Make Him Spontaneously Combust?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you can't push Willy--Willy won't go.

So even right-wingers find Cheney a bit creepy. Good to know.

Why Don't They Leave the God-King Alone?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because she's a femme fatale.

Can't they see Bush is good? That he never ever lies to us? That he strides over this nation like a colossus?

Two Movies, Actually. With Uma Thurman.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you really got me babe.

Once again, Muir seems to realize the Bill O'Reilly is a blowhard. Sadly, he realizes this when Bill attacks Matt Drudge.

On the Square Planet, Fire Cools You Down!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because don't you want me, baby?

Yeah. That's what Democratic belief in a Government that seeks to protect the livelihood of the less fortunate means. Mmm-hmm. That's why the Republicans must fight it by cutting taxes for the wealthiest.

Also, evil is good.

Liberal = Traitor.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it was a rock'n'roll creation.

...

And now, nearly five years after accusing the left of being in league with America's enemies, Muir has the balls to complain about liberal insults.

On the Next "Damon Is Full Of Shit!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you gotta pay to play.

Of course, you could always do one about an idiot boy-king and his manipulative underlings playing games to get his support for their various grandiose projects, but gosh, who'd be interested in that?

Wingnuts! Haw!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we know where our towels are!

Those liberals are just sore because Bush is the bestest president ever, and everybody is going to think so, forever and ever!

Hitler and Stalin...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because goodbye Ruby Tuesday.

Damn it, even Chris Muir's Imaginary Black Friend's musical tastes are white.

What Loons! They Must Be In the Pay of the Illuminati!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because what does not kill you, weakens you gradually so something else can.

Yep. Why should Democrats distrust a grand-standing megalomaniac, a raving paranoid and their psychopathic major-domo who've demonstrated a tendency towards deception?

Clark=Deer in Headlights! Laffz!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I come from a land down under.

Of course, one reason all they can talk about is politics is because neither of them as a developed personality. Oh, Damon does have the whole "Most Obnoxious Member of the Cast" sewn up, but that's not much of a distinguishing mark in this cast.

Haw Haw! Damon, You Lovable Shithead!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Boston rocks!

You know, I'm going to back off from the actual strip here to make a simple point. Damon, a young, healthy man in his twenties, is vehemently pro-war. Of course, he can't be bothered to actually go out and serve in the war he's backing--just blindly attack any criticism of it.

So Muir, thinking he's creating a paragon of Republican virtues, creates an asshole, a bully, and a coward with a disgustingly inflated ego. Which is the finest example of his limitations as an artist I can think of.

He's a Dead Man! Just You Watch!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because do the hustle!

Yep. Bin Laden's going to be next. Just you watch. We're blitzing those Muslims all over. We won't let the terrorists win. USA. USA.

How About a Date, Bitch?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I bless the rains down in Africa.

So Damon's response to a woman losing it over what a swarmy smartass he is, is to act like a swarmy smartass.

Gosh, why isn't he married yet?

No, Muir, That's Not How It Works...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it all was the fault of Achilles.

How the freaking HELL does Mystery Business(tm) stay solvent? Is it all just a clearing house for a massive Ponzi scheme?

Actually, the House Landed On the Witch In Oz, Moron.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we built this city with rock and roll. And also concrete.

So remember, kiddies, Democrats are all evil. EVIL! And mockworthy!

See? See?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because love child--never meant to be.

YEAH! They're happy we're over there! We're winning! You evil liberals are just--doing it wrong! Don't let the terrorists win! USA! USA!

Chris Muir, Constitutional Scholar.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Ray Jay Johnson.

...

Because one vaguely written clause clearly invalidates the entire New Deal.

Take That, You Limped-Wristed Girly Men!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there's a little Ooter in all of us.

Once again, Dems can't hope to compete with draft-dodging eternal manchild Bush and his manly manliness. Because it's not about being tough--it's about being an obnoxious wimp who pretends to be tough.

Nuances? Who the FUCK Needs Nuances?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because bunnies!

Gosh! And the media coverage of Hamas is usually so complementary.

On the Square Planet, We Punch to Show Affection!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because turn, turn, turn.

Once again, we look at Muir's lovable, with-it version of President Bush, and not-a-bad guy at all Karl Rove, and realize wonder if Muir can keep a driver's licence due to his obvious vision problems...

Look, People Need Uzis! To Protect Them From Other People With Uzis!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because all my friends drive the low rider.

I think it's worth noting that Damon has definitively decided against compassion here, in what he thinks is a move to the win. Conservativism! The favored political stance of sociopaths AND psychopaths!

Damon Belongs to the Church of the Ignorant Asshole.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

Of course, in Luke, one of the two thieves is told by Christ that he will be with him in Paradise, which would make Damon's comment something of a compliment, but then, neither Damon and Muir actually--you know--know things.

When the Martians Come, What Are You Gonna Do, Liberal? Huh?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because if you don't stop, we're turning the car around.

Of course, that's not the reason they proposed the law at all, but hey, let's ignore that. Republicans! Not afraid to take the tough stance of shouting xenophobic rhetoric and then doing nothing at all when faced with the complex problems of illegal immigration. Because damn it, anything else is letting the terrorists win!

Pfft! Good Opinion!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you know I know they know.

Yeah! What does being well thought of matter to us? We're the USA, baby! Other nations should be sucking up to us! In fact, let's go piss in the Atlantic! Just to show them who's boss.

Puting the 'Ass' in Technical Assistance.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Dandelion tells no lies.

...

Okay, this is an office full of raving sociopaths--how is it nobody's killed Damon and stuffed him in a pipe yet?

Stuffed With Crap.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I got slain by an elf.

Cause remember--Iraq is peaceful, and there isn't anybody over there who would want to kill him! Don't let the terrorists win! USA! USA!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Is That a Wookie?

It's the Daily Day! Now with iodine.

...

So, more creepy nudity, more paranoid ravings, more smug assurance that he knows what's going on. I almost wonder why he even bothered making a new strip.

And damn it, we don't need to see a naked Zed.

Afghanistan? We've Won That One!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you'll give 200%! Which is impossible.

...

Yep, just ignore Hillary's point, because you know, it's Hillary, and she's just letting the terrorist win.

Then wonder five years later why things have turned to shit.

Pfft! Cut Your Hair, You War Hero HIPPIE!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because all's quiet on the western front.

Remember--Liberal war heroes let the terrorists win.

I Think They Sell Widgets.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because chicken fingers!

Well, it's good to see all the wacky hijinks aren't hurting Mystery Business(tm)'s market share.

Happy Holidays! In Hell!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm a gangster of love.

...

So, they spend Thanksgiving together? How do they avoid murdering one another?

And I Don't Even Like Hillary!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you're bewitched, bothered and bewildered.

Yeah. Hillary's a stuck-up bitch. Muir knows this through the magical understanding of people he gets from being a deluded-asshole.

Well, After He Blows It On Licking Prostitutes' Feet...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you can fly--you can fly--you can fly.

Unfortunately, Damon neglects to mention exactly what Dick Morris is famous for.

Of Course, Muir DIDN'T Actually Read the Memo...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because fish.

Liberals ARE GOING TO LET THE TERRORISTS WIN!

Of course the actual memo was largely stretching and hand-waving that the Pentagon later backed out on, but that doesn't matter.

Hey! He Said It!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because if the cap fits, wear it.

It appears like many self-proclaimed libertarians, Muir likes his government authoritarian, but not too authoritarian, thank you very much. So much so that when the inevitable results of his stance happen, even he starts acknowledging the whole Fascist/Nazi comparison isn't such a strech...

OH GOD! IT'S BACK!

It's All Our Yesterday! Because of course Henry the Horse dances the waltz.

Because the Magic 8-ball gag was so great when he first dropped it!

If You're Right--You're All Right!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the Shadow knows.

...

He really believes that.

And remember, liberal billionares are clearly plotting something. Because rich people who don't want to screw over the little guy clearly want to REALLY screw over the little guy.

What Kind of a Name Is "Soros" Anyway?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he tasks me, and I will have him.

...

Yep. And the Republicans wealthy contributors get nothing. No, nothing!

Admit It Libs! That Pantsuit Turns You On!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm a roadrunner, honey.

...

Oh, Muir. The funny thing is you think your strips reveal anything but the dark and twisted contours of that thing you call a mind.

On the Square Planet, Dogs Walk People!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because future event such as these will effect you in the future!

...

You know the funny thing about strips like this is that Muir considers them proof of how politically knowledgable he is.

Bush: Paragon of Virtue!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because said the flea, let us fly, said the fly let us flee.

As usual, supplied by the somewhat jaundiced version of the facts the right wing news sources supply, Muir concludes that Bush is a great president, and that any deal with the Dems demonstrates their perfidy.

How Dare Politicians Engage In--POLITICS!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Rosebud.

Muir seems to think that Hatch can have them all shot, or forcibly detained.

We Could Call It The National Front!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's time to bungle in the jungle.

Given Sam's political tendencies, her ideal political system would let us choose between the Democrats, the Republicans, and the Other Republicans.

Does He Get a Kick in the Crotch?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we have always lived in the castle.

...

Why isn't Damon unemployed yet?

Waha! Take That, Tom Tomorrow! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because going to the sunny side of the street.

Yeah. How dare Tom Tomorrow make a blanket statement on people who are all... doing the same thing. That's prejudice! He's letting the terrorists win!

And I think Muir has neatly proven the "no funny conservative comics" statement for him.

I See a Red Shirt... I Want to Paint It Black.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because send in the clowns.

I'm going to ignore coffee-sipping urbanite Damon mocking the entire Democratic roster, to note that Jan apparently changed shirts between panel.

I R More Funny Now! Beep!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's root, root for the home team.

Good one, Muir-9000. Your understanding of biological humor grows greater all the--

BURY THE AXE IN THE CIRCUITBOARD!

...Oh, Shit.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because like flies to wanton boys are we to the gods.

Yeah. He's making a storyline out of a throwaway gag.

Take me now, Lord!

Don't Laugh. Accounting Runs the Same Way!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's the final countdown.

Mystery Business(tm) is definitely going to collapse like the shoddy house of cards it is when the damned credit crunch comes.

Do You Use a Whip?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's the fall of Saigon, all over again.

...

Isn't Mystery Business(tm) a tech-based place? What the hell are they doing with a staff comprised 33% of grognards?

The Walruses Steal It. I Have PROOF!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because nights in white satin--never reaching their end.

...

He thinks these people are charming. He really does.

How Dare He Malign the Brave Soldiers Who Died Facing the Northern Agression!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because PYLE! SHAZAM!

Yeah. Every Republican knows that keeping the Bubbas happy is how you keep the South. You pat their beer bellys, give 'em a wink on minorities, and promise you'll set up that theocracy--oh, one of these days.

And then you make sure they stay poor, stupid and angry. Winning strategy.

Ha Ha! Kerry's Finished! Finished!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Africa Unite!

Muir preps himself for a Dean candidacy. Good to see his awesome insight into the political system has always been as sharp as it is now.

Yeah! We're On Top To Stay!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because away, away, away went the rebel, Johnny Yuma.

Of course in long run, Bush and Rove turn out to be the Republican Party's version of cocaine, producing a short buzz, but undermining the Right's health and sanity.

But hey, hindsight's 20/20.

This Will Teach Them To Question Our God-King-President!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because how would you like it if we took your apples?

The "DNC is in the hand of a Republican mole" meme continues.

It's easy to forget that Kerry got 49% of the vote in 2004.

He Could Always Go As Brando!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the crystal ship is being filled.

...

...

Yeah. It's tough to sympathize with Zed and Sam's struggle with aging, as they're so very loathsome.

Eldritch Horrors

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!

Hey, remember when we all hated John Ashcroft? Before we realized that Alberto Gonzales was worse? A nice little trip down memory lane...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Offensive, On So Many Levels.

It's the Daily Day! Because love can fix your life, but love can break your heart.

So, aside from more creepy cubist eye candy, Muir--who was giving the Bush Administration virtual blowjobs as they assraped the Constitution--claims to see how Obama is preparing to destroy our rights!

The answer is--by being a Democrat. A Democrat in the White House means the nation is going to hell. A Republican fascist regime would of course, be what the founders wanted.

Look at My Straw Dems! Aren't They Pathetic?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the bridge is structurally unsound!

Yeah. There's no way those losers are even going to manage a respectable showing against Bush! I bet they don't get 40% of the vote! And that Bush goes down as one of the greatest president evar!

"Move On"? More Like Loser... On...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we few, we band of brothers.

Remember--thinking the impeachment was spurious means you unconditionally support the exploitation of women. And the only bad thing anyone can say about Bush is he's like a Nazi.

Which is totally untrue of course.

And Once We Have California--We'll Be Unstoppable!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because blood on the streets it's up to my ankles.

Heh, Dems. Your loss in California to a celebrity proves your party is on the verge of collapse! And the Right Wing Hegemony shall reign forevermore!

So--Ready To Get Vaccinated?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

Yeah! Invading conservative Islamic nations! That'll stop them from hating America!

And I Don't Even Like Iran!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because what's brown and sounds like a bell?

Once again, Muir reduces the complex culture of Iran to "teh bad guys".

Subtlety isn't his strong point. Though I'm starting to think he doesn't have one.

These Are Your Options!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Burning Down the House!

Remember--that's all there is. You can be oppressed by the Taliban, or you can let Chris Muir leer at you. It's a binary choice.

Puns! Puns! PUNS!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I know you're out there, somewhere.

...

...

...

Glad to see you have so much to say on the topic, Muir-9000.

...

...

...

HIT THE CIRCUITBOARD WITH THE AXE!

It's the Same Old Song...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because dance to the music.

I see Muir will never run out of jokes about Sam and Zed being old. And they'll never stop being creepy and annoying! Yay.

One News Network to Rule Them All.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because call me Musashi!

Yes, Fox is the good network. The others are shrill liberal morons.

On the Square planet.

That's Right, Libs! He Won!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because by the way I tried to say I love you.

Hoo ya! Schwarzenegger's going to be governor of California libs! And he's going to change everything! And give everybody ice cream! Lots and lots of ice cream!

Waha! Take That, Sharpton! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because all the world's a stage.

Chris Muir's Imaginary Black Friend sticks it to real black man, Al Sharpton. Chris Muir thinks he's made a great point.

Hey, Remember This One...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it was Colonel Mustard. In the pantry. With the Revolver.

So--Zed is old! And Damon's a jerk! And the cast really sucks! Yay!

Wow. Muir Really Liked "The Matrix", Didn't He?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because here on Gilligan's Island.

Of course, any format where he can't just shout down people is unfair to O'Reilly.

...Must've Been a Slow Day.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's magic.

...

...

You know, I wouldn't mind the strikeouts if Muir was hitting the damn things to begin with.

Waha! Take That, LA Times!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because at the end lies a room with a moose.

That's what you get for messing with super Republican Schwarzenegger, who we right wingers love, love, love, and pledge to stand by forever and for always.

You Hear That Liberal Media? Any Day Now...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because HAIL THE NEW FLESH!

"Of course, lacking resources and investigative ability, we're still dependent on the major news sources... Plus its tougher to keep the crazies out..."

Nu-uh!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because come with me and I'll show you the glory of--TUUUUEEESDAAAAY AFTERNOOOOON!

...

Yes, they do. Guns facilitate murder, and often cause fatal accidents, you semantics playing moral midget.

We'll Find Them! Got It!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Look--I know it's been awhile--but they're there! We'll find them! We had a true and noble cause! Honest!

Is Not, Stupidheads!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because in the navy, yes, you can sail the seven seas.

Stupid CNN! They're lying! They must be! 'Cause they want to let the terrorists win! It's not a quagmire! It's not!

It's Going to Be Such a Pleasure Watching You Go Down.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I went to get a sandwich.

"You mean the most populous, urbanized areas in the state?"

Chris Muir. The master of faulty shallow analysis.

Tony, You Ignorant Shit.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because life is secure with Lady Jane.

"No, Tony, I see it as a victory for a celebrity who had major party backing. Next question."

Dissent is for Frenchmen!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you don't want to harsh Ted's mellow.

Clearly all these liberals are letting the terrorists win.

Another Split.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Proud Mary'll keep on burning.

Muir makes up for a rare admission of error by acting like Wilson's comments were, of course, proof of an insidious agenda.

So He Failed History, As Well As Art Class.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because mananana.

Ummm... actually, Muir, they discussed the hell out of the Constitution, which was about turning the states into one nation instead of thirteen or fourteen little nations. So--epic fail.

But hell, I called this one.

Oh, That's a Stumper. Sure.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we love you.

"You mean the speech where he advocated rebelling against the nation he belonged to and creating a new country? That one? The one he gave to the Virginian legislature? That they discussed?"

But of course, for Muir American history is just a long triumph of not letting the terrorists win.

HA! CIA Leaks are Funny!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because if there is a God, I think the worst thing you can say about is that he's an underacheiver.

So, it's Joseph Wilson's fault his wife's cover was blown?

I love how all their supposed loyalty to their country vanishes when right-wingers have to--you know--do things.

Bossy Liberals!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I've come to take you home!

Again--you think--maybe--the calorie grenades there might be causing the weight gain you complain about? Maybe?

Ummm... She Was. Well--Except For Being 10 Years Old.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year.

It's always fun when the right wing pretends that minor mistakes invalidate huge swaths of information. One misstatment, and they acted like the fact that Bush's White House had blown an agent's cover was suspect.

That's Ted Kennedy? I Thought It Was George Will!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I gotta get on back to the life on the street.

Well, for a start he has the whole--I don't know--FACT THAT THOSE FUCKING WMDS YOU WERE YELLING ABOUT DON'T EXIST, ASSHOLE!

But I forget--you guys don't have to prove anything. Your claims are holy writ.

It's the Law of the West!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's only teenage wasteland.

I'm really surprised that there's never been a sexual harassment lawsuit at the mystery business that our cast all works at. I really am.

Hoo-ha!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because up with people.

Notice the quiet implication that any soldier who's a Democrat is less a soldier. Yep. Nice going Muir.

Pfft. Liberals. Being All--Liberal.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the eagle has landed.

Oh, noes! The Left's offending Muir's Imaginary Pseudomoderate! It's done for! Because all that liberals are saying about the war is clearly wrong, and won't be borne out by time! And America won't let the terrorists win! USA! USA! USA!

Some Live in the Bubble--Others Merely Project There.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because hiho, Silver! Away!

The Iraqis HAVE to support our hamfisted, unilateral invasion! Bush says so! He wouldn't lie to us! Never! And Saddam was evil! So they have to like us!

It's really hard to write about politics on this planet when you live on the square one.

He's Shocked! Shocked!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm all out of bubblegum.

Right. The party with the huge minority base are like the KKK. Because Republicans would NEVER refer to Democrats as Nazis. And remember--all Nazi comparisons are exactly the same, and all are equally specious.

Sure, Muir. Sure.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because, mama, mama, life has hardly just begun.

Remember how a few months ago, Muir was certain that Saddam was toast--oh, in a week or so? And that there were WMDs? And that Saddam was working with Al-Qaeda?

'Cause I'm not sure he does.

You Know, Maybe Lying On a Beanbag Chair Sipping a Martini Has Something To Do With That Weight Gain? I'm Just Saying.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because when I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide.

Yeah. Joke about Wesley Clark. Right. Gotchya.

The Sheer Gall Gets To You Sometimes.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because, Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?

Thank you once again, Chris Muir's Imaginary Black Friend, for your pun-filled thoughts on race relations. They are a fucking source of inspiration for Imaginary Black People everywhere.

On the One Hand... On the Other...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because she's an artist, she don't look back.

So--to the good, Muir acknowledges that O'Reilly is a pompous blowhard.

On the other, he thinks that his brand of witless deflection is a brilliant comeback. So, I'm chalking this one up as a lose.

You Mean You're a Psychopathic Russian Emigre/Hack Author?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because when God closes a door, He opens a window. Then slams it shut on your fingers.

So, Muir/his cast are Rand fans?

Of course they are.

We Can Only Hope His Fly Was Buttoned In the Earlier Panels.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I feel like chicken tonight.

It's good to see Damon uses technology to find new ways to be a creep. Truly, I am in awe of the mind of man.

Ummm--You Mean Abbreviations...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's time to get things started on the Muppet show tonight.

Another 'Sam is Old' joke is ruined because Muir fudges the punchline.

Still, let us take solace in the fact that it wasn't that funny to begin with.

More a Stubbed Toe Than a Knee to the Crotch

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because can we have kippers for breakfast?

This is about as close to nuanced political discourse that Muir's ever come.

Unfortunately, it's still not funny.

Potent Political Commentary? Or Brainfart? You Decide.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we wuv you dis much.

And the point of that was...?

Chris Muir= Know-Nothing Asshole

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Santa Claus is coming to town.

Right. It's not like the White House could--say, shut CNN out and deny it access to stories if it refused to play ball like the good little boys at Fox. Nope. Not at all. Bush wouldn't do that. Nope.

Chris Muir doesn't know what the hell he's talking about--but he never lets that stop him.

It's No Truffle At All!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Shaft!

Clearly, Clouseau deserved this for not offering patriotic Americans steak.

How... Zany.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the lunatic is on the grass.

Two calamari-based puns in one strip.

Joy.

Hey, Remember Arafat!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because don't pay the ferryman!

It's good to see Muir's handle on the Israel situation is a brilliant and nuanced as everything else in his strip.

Which is to say, crap.

Schwarzenegger! He'll Be the Perfect Republican Governor!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Kilroy was here.

Right! We should just have the illegal aliens driving without licences! Like they are now! Severe problems don't necessitate severe solutions! The Republican motto--fuck ups are fine, as long as they don't effect the wealthy.

And We All Know What an Unmitigated Triumph That Turned Out To Be.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the dead outnumber the living.

Yeah. In two years, the cult of Bush will be forced to realize that he's a local idiot, not the Inspector General, and downplay their rhetoric accordingly. But for now, they worship him as the font of all good governance.

Sickening, ain't it?

And They Don't Fire Him, Because?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because what's Hecuba to him? Or he to Hecuba?

Yeah. Damon's such a charmer.

Snort! And You Thought Iraq Was a Bad Idea.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Saturday night is all right for fighting!

...

In three years, the full stupidity of this joke will obvious.

Don't They Know We ARE the System?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Of course, Democrats work within the system all the time, but this is the square planet, where Right Wing strongarm tactics are all reasonable, and protesting them is a sign of lunacy.

Accusation! Counter-accusation!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because up, up and away, in my beautiful balloon.

Because the only way to counter an accusation is another accusation. You can't produce a reasonable answer in reply!

Well, actually, Muir never does, so maybe that is how he thinks debates work.

Waha! Take That, French Guy! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because they wait--and wait--and WAIT!

Because France having problems means that no Frenchman can have anything of worth to say about 9/11! And--how dare he! He's letting the terrorists win! USA! USA! USA!

Exterminate! Exterminate!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's beneath the floorboards!

Ha! Good one, Muir-9000! Your logical computer humor is far superior--quick! BURY THE AXE IN ITS CIRCUIT BOARDS!

The Shoddy Illusion of Impartiability

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the Ukraine is weak!

Every now and then, Zed and Sam are shown as seperate from the political debates, to give the impression that they represent the middle.

Unfortunately, Muir tips his hand so often that we all know it's a blatant lie.

A Weighty Problem. And I'm Sorry for the Pun.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you know what you did!

I still maintain that all jokes about Sam and Zed's weight are meant to be taken as jokes about their increasing age. Still, one can argue that they form their own little Zed and Sam subtopic.

Also, I thought they lived on the West Coast. It's someplace with beaches.

Rocky? Brad? Janet?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's a knockout.

Yeah. Looks like another long run of Zed and Sam's wacky hijinks. Joy.

Oh, You Dirty, Dirty Girl You!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because nobody's gonna tell a navy man when he's had enough to drink.

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Yeah.

Muir Forgets the Punchline. Again.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because disco inferno!

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Sometimes I think Muir understands the traditional form a joke is supposed to take without understanding how to make it work...

Other times I know.

Of Course! Every Race-Based Organization Is Like the KKK!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because all she wants to do is dance.

Actually, the motto of MEChA is "La UniĆ³n Hace La Fuerza"--"Unity Makes Strength"--and the phrase Muir mentions is from an earlier Chicano Movement manifesto with tenuous connections to MECha, but that's what you miss when you get your news from wingnut.

...Dear God in Heaven.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the Cisco Kid was a real good friend of mine.

I think Jan wants a slice a that there dark meat! Know what I mean? Jungle Fevah!

Sorry. Backpacking through the dark recesses of Muir's mind gets to you after awhile.

Our Power Shall Be Eternal!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence!

"Of course, something as general as that gives a somewhat deceptive impression of overwhelming strength, ignoring that many of those red counties are fairly lightly inhabited, but that's neither here nor there..."

Ignore Enron! Ignore It!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I must! But I cannot!

Remember--Clinton's debatable phoniness is the important part here. Not Enron. Democrats BAD! Republicans GOOD!

And The Company Wouldn't Allow Me to Use a Cattle Prod.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we're off to see the wizard.

...

What the hell does their company do, anyway? I mean, this strip has run almost a year, and it still has only four characters--all of whom barely qualify as that.

Wait, Wait--I Thought They Wanted YOUR Guns...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the cheese stands alone.

One sure sign of paranoia is that you blame others for the outrageous actions you undertake against imaginary threats.

Everybody Hates Windows!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there's no need to live like a refugee.

Yeah. Windows.

Also, tv dinners.

Hey--Know What Zed Is?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there's something in the way...

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Yeah, he's old.

Yep.

He's FUCKING 40ISH! That's not old, Muir!

Because Friendship is Revelling in Other's Misfortunes.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because information! Information! Information!

So this is what a right-wing office is like. No human sympathy at all. Nice to know.

No, It's Being an Asshat.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because pirates vs. ninjas!

Yeah. Have I mentioned I hate the cast? I have? Well, it bears repeating. I hate this fucking cast.

'Remington Steele'? Fucking 'Remington Steele'?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I can tell my sister about the flowers in her eyes on the Road to Shamballah.

I'm serious. Damon modelled himself after--Remington Steele? That goes beyond pathetic into "murder would be a form of mercy".

Zen and the Art of Ass-Kicking.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears, keep the rag away from your face--now's not the time for your tears.

So Sam has the mentality of a serial killer. No surprise there.

Cutting Political Commentary! Something This Strip Lacks!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you call that a knife? This is a knife!

You know, if it seems like I'm being a bit too cavalier in my dismissal of Muir's points, well that's because Muir's too cavalier in making them. Democrats invariably area acting out of malice and stupidity--Republicans are good and virtuous, with a few exceptions, and of course, War is Good, because We Can't Let the Terrorists Win.

Hence, my sarcasm.

Like "All the President's Men". Only Evil.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm okay now. Really.

So in the Day by Day universe, Rove has subverted the DNC. Explains why they're all straw liberals...

I Love Everyday People

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the word is love.

Yeah. It warms the fucking cockles of my heart that Muir's imaginary black friend and his imaginary straw liberal can get along. But oh noes! Clinton and the evul Dems!

He's In the Crawlspace!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh.

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The worst part is, Muir thinks this makes us like his horrible, horrible cast.

I Love You Monet, Monet, Monet.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because sometimes you gotta play your hand. Sometimes the cards aren't worth a damn, if you don't lay them down.

Yeah. Whatever sexiness these drawings might possess is more than cancelled out by the stiff, unnatural poses.

That "Yo Mamma" Joke I Mentioned a While Back...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Rocky Raccoon went back to his room, only to find Gideon's bible.

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This strip offends on so many levels.

We're Gonna Need a Better Script.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because hobbledyhoy!

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The creepy orange background suggests that the cast is in Hell.

I know I am.

Oh, the Places You Go.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you take it to the limits--one more time.

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I really hate this strip, you know that?

A Treat For Cubist Fetishists Everywhere!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we got your number.

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It's the air of moral superiority he assumes the rest of the time that makes this so loathsome, you know that?

Radiation Poisoning Should Finish Them Off.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because time keeps on tripping into the future.

Ahh--remind me again--the yellowcake that didn't exist and that Saddam didn't order, right? That yellowcake?

Because Symbolic Gestures That Don't Involve Fighter Jets Are Clearly Stupid!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because yes, we have no bananas.

Yeah. Democrats! Celebrating Medicare! Pfft!

Okay, So Jan Can Teleport! Good to Know!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'll twine with my mingles and waving black hair.

I'll ignore all the classic Day by Day call signs--the liberal bashing, the sexism, the sloppy awkward to ask one thing--who the hell is Damon talking to?

It's OVER! Huzzah!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the spots! THE SPOTS!

Wow! I'd never thought I'd be releived to see more of Muir's blatant sexism, but then you learn a lot about what you can stand going through the Day by Day archives.

FER CRISSAKES, MUIR, LET THE JOKE DIE!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because by this time, my lungs were aching for air.

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Oh, God, let it end.

Problem Student. That's One Way of Puting It.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide.

It's clear not taking his clown version of how these camps seriously is a sign that Bush is kewl to Muir.

Like the Bataan Death March. Only With Jokes.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because look at the world! And look at my trousers!

Muir continues the 'Democrats as kindergardeners' meme, like a man smacking himself continuously on the face with a brick.

Okay, that last bit is as much wish fulfilment as it is analogy.

...Yeah. Moving On.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

This storyline has just passed from the realm of lame political satire into the realm of random nonsensical mockery. What's next? 'Your mama's so fat' jokes?

Fight, Dems! FIGHT!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?

Tomorrow, Muir continues the wacky jokes by pitting his straw Dems in fights to the death.

Ha ha! Liberals! Always Hating Bush!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it was the rats! The rats in the walls!

Remember--there's no reason for anyone to hate Bush. None at all.

What makes it worse is that Muir will be quite willing to play the Hitler card against Obama. Conservatives--the pot calling the china dish black.

Puns Make Everything Better.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there's got to be a morning after!

And so Muir's Imaginary Black Friend once again shows us the folly of being worried about racism with the help of Zed's complete obliviousness. And a lousy pun.

Cause Republicans Would NEVER Obstruct Their Opponents! NEVER!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because they only tease you because they're jealous, dear.

Muir apparently think the entire concept of a democratic republic is that the party in power does whatever the hell it wants, the party in opposition takes it up the shorts.

Glass Houses, Muir.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Take on me! Take me on!

Yeah. How pathetic. Hey, you know what would be even more pathetic? A conservative white boomer who invented a hip young black character to be his mouthpiece!

And Bush and Cheny are 'Apocolypse Now'!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.

Yeah, I'm going to love going through 2004 again. Oooh, boy.

Ahh!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you gotta do what you gotta do.

So maybe there was a medical reason for two extra-incoherent strips in a row! Or maybe I'm trying to impose order on an chaotic universe.

Umm... Chris... Punchline... Chris?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because 'twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

So once again, Chris was so interested in having his imaginary black friend strike down the liberal oppressors that he didn't bother to put a joke in. Or make any sort of sense.

...Maybe He Was Off His Meds...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because hope is all I have.

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Yeah.

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Ow.

What--the--hell--was--that?

Damn ATMs.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there's no "try" only "do".

Yeah. More lame incidental humor. Woo. Maybe Zed is going to complain about the kids on his yard next strip.