Friday, July 31, 2009

"It's To Be Medical Experiments For the Lot of You!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because penis is evil!

Wow. They're not only psychopathic--they're ignorant as well. What a winning genetic combination.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Your Daily Dose of Ick.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because it is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Oh, I did not need to see that.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

'Asshole'. Not 'Capitalist'. 'Asshole'

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because sit on it--and rotate!

Glad to see that Damon's lack of any redeeming qualities is still pitched as a good thing in this strip.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It's Funny 'Cause It's Not English!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because, Ward, I'm worried about the Beaver.

Apparently Jan's father learnt English from the same instructor as the notorious Mexican Superfriend El Dorado.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Wha...?

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because who mourns for Adonis?

So wait--neither Jan or Damon thought to tell her father that they were getting hitched?

Definitely a "Bears" moment...

Whoa.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because where will you go?

Okay, aside from a riff on the sequel that ruined my enjoyment of a pretty good film--this comes to the problem of Muir, and the Right's philosophy on healthcare. Our system is one of the worst in the world, even if we do have some of the best doctors, and it's largely because of the "free market" insurance model, which is a bloated ineffiecient mess where the ultimate goal from the insurer's side is NOT to treat as many people as possible. Most people would see that as a major flaw in a system that's ideally supposed to do the exact opposite. But the Muir's of the world blind themselves to that reality to blather on about choice, and socialism and the American spirit, denying the existance of a major problem, and then patting themselves on the back for saving the rest of us blind sheep. The sad fact is--the free market model just doesn't work for health care. It can't because "choice" is not really a factor--people don't choose to get sick. They just do. And while they can then "choose" not to get treatment, the results tend to be bad if they don't--for them, and often for those around them. All the libertarian bullshit about free markets being the magical solution to everything can't change that fact--or the fact that a society where a large portion of the population can't afford health care is a society that's skirting the edges of a catastrophe.

But Muir doesn't see it that way. The Free Market is perfect, and if some people aren't getting covered, well, that just shows they don't deserve coverage.

That's the Chicago Way!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because rats off to ya!

So--more confident blather, recycled panels, and insane conjecture. Must have been a rush job.

Friday, July 24, 2009

"Oooh, Yeah, Baby. Quotemine Those Articles!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because there's a lot of ruins in Mesopotamia.

I considered going into an indepth look at Muir's claim, which is the usual "betting everything on a pair of deuces" approach, but honestly I once again am forced to wonder why Sam is discussing politics--in her panties. Is this some kind of twisted sex ritual for her and husband?

And yes, I know the real reason is because Muir thinks it's sexy, but sometimes I like to pretend that this fictional world of his has some sort of integrity.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

"People WANT To Die of Like Dogs, Afraid And Alone!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Loooosy....

"A good government doesn't try to help its citizens! It tries to kill OTHER countries' citizens! This is an evil plot! EVILLL!"

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mirror, Mirror...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because twenty quatloos on the newcomer!

Right. Or it could be we "elites" see a dangerously unqualified, horribly narcisstic, superstitious pseudo-populist who sums up everything that's gone wrong with the Republican Party since the great right wing shift of the 80s and who was nominated in a cynical bid for the woman's vote. I leave it to the readers.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Won't You Please Help Chris's Kids?

It's the Daily Day! Because one two three and I fell!

Gosh, the karma coming into play here is simply overwhelming...

Monday, July 20, 2009

A Nice Day to Start Again.

It's the Daily Day! Because shit piss fuck!

...

I'd feel sorry for Jan if she actually had a personality.

"Doctor Kilpatient!"

It's the Daily Day! Because it's good enough for me.

So--Obama's stimulus plan is evil and bloated and sends money to all the evil people. As opposed to Bush's stimulus plan, which gave it to the bankers that helped crash the economy in the first place. And it's killed the nation.

Oh, and evil is good.

"Take That Pot! Take That!"

It's the Daily Day! Because we're trying to fix that.


Yeah, that Murtha is so crooked. So crooked the FBI's investigating him. Only they aren't.

It's a slow news day, okay? You can't blame Muir for being desperate.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Big Grandpa Is Watching You!

It's the Daily Day! Because oompa loompa doopity do.

...

A little known fact about paranoids is that they're actually REALLY easy to fool. Because they suspect everybody initially, people who show honest concern and try to tell them they're delusional are quickly lumped into the conspiracy. People who play on their fears and tell them they're right are generally considered good guys. Unfortunately, the only people who can do that with ease are sociopaths, who have no qualms and no interests in anyone besides themselves.

And now you understand the modern Republican Party!

It'll Be Like Logan's Run! Only With Less 70s' Hair.

It's the Daily Day! Because we're not gonna take it.

Aside from the whole reminder about who's old in his strip--Zed and Sam--we enter the Square Planet, where the cluttered private system that's resulted in the wealthiest nation in the world having the shortest life expectancy in the First World is superior to the public systems that have made the rest of the First World live longer.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

"We Just Want the Money."

It's the Daily Day! Because--does THIS look familiar?

Muir's annual begging bowl, laced with a shot at Soros that manages to be completely irrelevant and mildly irritating at the same time. Just--confirming that he hasn't lost his touch.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

"On the Square-Planet, Cars Drive People!"

It's the Daily Day! Because raise your hand--you feel confident, secure.

Remember--an economic stimulus package works immediately, even when most of the money hasn't been spent yet. And the Bush adminstration's governing philosophy is the Obama's governing philosophy. Only it's evil, because now it's a Democrat.

"But At Least I Have My Tiger Repelling Rock!"

It's the Daily Day! Because if I were a rich man...

Muir continues to demonstrate that a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, as after all, we were expected to wait indefinitely for the dead people in Iraq to become good things.

"And the Kid is Not His Son!"

It's the Daily Day! Because chain--chain--chain--chain of fools.

Wow. Even when acknowledging flaws, Muir manages to be an ass.

"Checking Things Is For Inferior People!"

It's the Daily Day! Because we're all mad here.

Assuming I've got the right HR 1966, then no it doesn't, you arrogant, insulting piece of human refuse.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Sock Puppets of Suck.

It's the Daily Day! Because I just can't wait to see those cities on the moon.

Ha ha. Liberal strawgirl sister is such a buffoon. Ha ha. Oh, and Sam is old.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Everyone Knows The Sky Is a Blue Cloth!

It's the Daily Day! Because you don't know what it's like to be the bad man, the sad man, behind blue eyes.

You know the cap and trade bill has recieved criticism on both sides, but only in the magical land of far right wingnuttery is junk science trotted out. This is because the far right doesn't know what science is, so when it says something they don't like, they assume it's a lie.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Logic Is For The Weak!

It's the Daily Day! Because he gave his life for tourism.

You know, the whole--resigning in a the middle of her first and only term as governor MIGHT have something to do with that whole "unfit" thing. But I forget--Muir runs on "common sense".

Monday, July 6, 2009

"You Won't Have Sarah Palin To Kick Around Any More!"

It's the Daily Day! Because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.

Oh, Muir. It takes more than the amazingly ridiculous resignation of Sarah Palin to restore the Republican Party's shattered dignity. It'd take the disappearance of every right wing think tank and neocon pundit, and a willingness on the Party's part to acknowledge that mistakes were made and that changes are coming. And that's to make a start.

A Soap Opera of Suck.

It's the Daily Day! Because there's a thorn tree in the garden.

Muir only lightly dabbles in political attacks to give us the drama between Jan and Damon, which is hampered by the fact that neither of them has anything more than a rudimentary personality.

Also, Muir seems to think that Palin was attacked simply because she had a special needs child. Sure. That was it.

Hooker Jokes MAKE Everything Funny!

It's the Daily Day! Because the laws of commonsense I can't ignore.

You know, here Muir is given a genuine scandal that fits his preoccupations perfectly. And he still proceeds to make a cluttered mess out of the strip, so painfully unfunny that it ranks up there with dental surgery as excruciating ways to spend time. At times like this, I have to wonder--does Muir EVER have a small flash of insight into his complete lack of talent? Just a little voice in the back of his head that says, 'You know--you're not that good. You really need to improve things."

Probably not.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

"Military Coups Are The Cornerstone Of A Succesful Democracy!"

It's the Daily Day! Because if I tarry now I would my guts might be turned to shoe-thread.

Muir, who was calling Obama a fascist a little while ago, comes out in support of the widely condemned military coup in Honduras, and criticizes Obama for being against it. The fact that Obama opposes the military unseating a lawfully elected president is PROOF that he's a anti-democratic fascist commie!

...

Fail rarely gets more epic than this.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

"America WANTS Our Smug Egotism and Moral Hypocrisy!"

It's the Daily Day! Because, you can't do this to me, Beverly. I'm not the kind of man you can mess around with.

And the comedy riot continues as Muir continues to babble his incoherant philosophy shooting impotent arrows at targets like "moderate" Republicans--who aren't "real Republicans" of course--and Republicans who have had affairs. If the party could purges these deviants, it would be a pure party of arrogant sociopathic warmongers who could make America great again!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Donations Welcome.

It's the Daily Day! Because I had to cry today.

Muir talks about the left changing the definitions of words, and then claims that Obama is a fascist not a liberal--"fascist" apparently meaning "Democrat I don't like" to Muir. As we watch Muir inject more rich, tasty unknowing irony straight into his strip's veins, we have to ask--does he even know what fascism is? Why does he think Obama is a character straight of 1984, but that Bush and Cheney were basically decent guys and defenders of the nation?

Which is why I'm starting the Fund To Send Muir A Dictionary*, which will mail him one with the definitions of words he seems to get wrong--like "fascist", "liberal", "conservative" and "intelligent"--helpfully highlighted. Because if we don't help the obnoxious and stupid, they'll just keep annoying the utter fuck out of us.

*Fund To Send Muir A Dictionary is fictious and not actually accepting donations at all. Though if you do send me money, I will take it.