Yep! Obama BAD!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because can you forgive her?

This is a lovely combination of two wingnut propositions, both cheerfully divorced from reality. First, regulations make hiring people too costly, which is why we should simply let businesses do what they want. Second, the Bush years didn't happen, and are in no way responsible for the present economic situation.

These are both ridiculous things to believe. And they also point out how Muir isn't on the side of the working man, as he imagines himself to be, but on the side of the working man taking it up the shorts. And yet there's no rational reason for him to be. Muir, like many Right Wingers, practices economics as a sort of cargo cult, aping what he believes to be the beliefs of the wealthy in the hopes that one day, he'll be wealthy too, much like Not-Quite-Joe the Not-Quite-Plumber.

Of course, it doesn't work like that. And in fact what these people are doing is supporting policies that will make sure they'll be considerably poorer, and live lives that are considerably more miserable. But hey. Can't let the liberals win.

Drowning In Crazy FAIL!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because chutney!

...

...

...

Holy fuck. I reiterate, holy fuck.

Isn't She Already A Naughty Girl Dream?

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because they started the investigation!

And as we rejoin the interminable Zed and Sam storyline, we have to ask--considering that Zed is a government sniper, and Sam is a Red-Headed Republican Sex Kitten who spends an inordinate amount of time nude or semi-nude, isn't all this a little disingenuous?

Well, of course it is. Disingenuity is the name of the game in Day By Day. This strip has a sincere moment about as often as Haley's Comet shows up.

Also, bears. With power tools.

Obama BAD!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Idylls of the King.

Right. Obama hates the troops, because... he's a Democrat. And he refuses to treat the Right with respect.

And Muir is an amazingly patriotic, brave fellow. Also, smart.

A Point Is Hastily Assembled.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because I'd go the whole wide world, go the whole wide world, just to find her.

As Muir throws together a political moral to his... story, we are forced to ask many questions. Like--Barack is a 'bad boy'? A man whose campaign was built on a return to constitutional law and functional government? Not Bush who started wars, largely because he could, and left people to fend for themselves?

Of course, this brand of reasoning dominates Day by Day as the guy who's explaining about 'bad boys' is a government sniper who regularly uses violence to solve problems.

Once Again No Twin After All.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because go take a walk with your sister the moon.

You know--I read some very odd books. For example, I've finished Story of the Stone, aka Dream of the Red Chamber, a book where for over 2000 pages very little happens, albeit in an extremely fascinating way. This was a book where the border between dreams and reality was regularly examined and undermined.

It was much better at this sort of thing than Muir is.

It Was... All A Dream?

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because you're dead, but the world keeps spinning.

So...

Unless Muir is planning A DOUBLE bait and switch--and I wouldn't put it past him--Muir just had Bobby step out the shower, making the entire "Zed's twin" storyline a completely useless waste of time.

Of course, that's a pretty good description of the strip in general. Hmmm... maybe 'an irritating incomprehensible mess' would work better... no wait...

Well, it's like the strip in general--only moreso.

Don't Think She's Gonna Be Getting A Four Year Mission, Muir.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the Mill on the Floss.

And the creepy, deluded Palin love--continues. The Square Planet news--continues. Jan's move to Fox News Liberal--continues.

Actually, it's kind of amazing that a strip as goofy as this manages to break no new ground. But there you go.

Secret Identical Twins! Sure, Why Not?

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because tell me why!

Okay, this is as well-handled a retcon as Muir has ever done. The problem is, that's a pretty low bar. As much as I hate Muir's politics, it's his crappiness as an artist that sets my teeth on edge. The world of Day By Day is a makeshift one, where bad ideas are cheerfully thrown together with little regard to making them fit. Watching Muir change characters' ethnicities and alter pasts at a whim, it comes through that he REALLY doesn't care about this part of a comic strip--creating a world. The thing is--that the part that's actually important. It's why this strip isn't the story of a bunch of people living in--well, Florida, apparently. It's a waltz of the Right Wing paper dolls.

"We're Identical Right Down To The Smugness!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because baby fall down!

So... Zed's twin brother.

Yep.

Yep.

BEARS! WITH! POWER! TOOLS! DAMN IT!

Wow! Zany Hijinks!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because who was that masked man?

Ahh. Zed's twin brother/identical cousin whom he has hitherto failed to mention.

Yep.

Yep.

BEARS! WITH POWER TOOLS!

"Only Zed Can Help Us Now!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because on Blue Jay Way!

Oh, wow. Captain Mitty is being called in to serve once again. Fancy that. Yes, Muir shows his awesome patriotism by having his imaginary sniper serve in Afghanistan. Wooo.

Also, bears. With power tools.

"I Thought I Did..."

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because ach, scuvvers!

And now one of the tiny supporting cast talks about the penis substitutes Captain Mitty has been provided with by his creator.

Sometimes this strip is funny. Just not in the way Muir intends.

"Aren't We Wacky?"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because POP goes the weasel.

Yeah, what did the government ever do right? Aside from anything they did right, of course.

Muir loves this nation so much, he thinks the government is completely ineffectual. Hail to the mighty patriot!

Yous Is All Cowardly Liars!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because I thought I was once, but then I remembered my race reproduces in a cloud of spores.

As Muir sputters and fumes at the completely untrue charges of racism--real Americans are WORRIED that Obama's a secret Muslim who was born in Kenya--I feel obligated to note that the Falcon was created by Stan Lee and Gene Colan in 1969, and was one of the first black superheroes. Both men with a lot more talent--a lot more real patriotism--then Muir.

"I Was Worried That My Knowledge Of The Enemy Might Scare You!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because people are scum--but BEAUTIFUL!

So--wait. Zed speaks Urdu, a language spoken in Pakistan, and portions of India. He learnt to speak it during his special forces stint, apparently to aid with his missions. Given that we know he served in the early 90s, and can conjecture he served in the late 80s, this means he was probably serving in Pakistan, during the Soviet-Afghan war, helping to train mujahideen.

This means Zed probably helped train future Taliban members.

This is what happens when you just keep adding things to your Captain Mitty's expansion pack past without thinking them out. And of course, this assumes that Muir will try to base this on something close to reality, a rather large assumption, I freely admit.

"Hail The Free Market! Now Stop Giving Jobs To The Dirty Furriners!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because all things fail when the many are wanting.

Official languages of India--Hindi, and a strange little tongue called English. But hey--the important thing is scoring points against the wogs! Go Know-Nothing Party! Free America from the immigrant hordes!

The Stupidity Burns!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the same laws ban poor and rich alike from stealing food and sleeping in the gutter.

Once again, Muir demonstrates he knows nothing about science and economics. Or history. But hey, a cheap Vietnam reference from a man who's been backing "Vietnam: the Sequel!" What's not to love?

The Doodyheads!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because you're gonna carry that weight.

Muir warns of the dangers of allowing government to go against the wishes of right wingers, sapping the vital fluids of our nation! Oh, if only they were still in power! Then--another war! That'd put us on the road to recovery!

"Do You Not See The Hideous Abuses?"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because do not sit on the counters.

...

Hmmmm. Is it a sign of nascent paranoia that I think Muir is actually doing what the Republicans claimed Obama did--using that analogy to insult and belittle a woman (in this case the First Lady)? And if he's called on it, he can retreat behind an "Obama did it" statment, and pretend that's not he's doing it at all.

Yeah. Real class act.

"Nothing To See Here! Move Along!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because give him the hook. The hook! THE HOOK!

Right. Pretend the time Obama schooled the GOP without any teleprompter didn't happen. Also pretend that writing three imbecilic talking points that the average 6th grader could remember ON YOUR HAND is not a big deal. Muir's great white goddess is revealed to have feet of clay--and his response is to wave his hands and insist that Obama is the stupid one.

This is a strange blend of shamelessness and crass stupidity. Which sums up the Palin phenomenon quite well, actually.

Yeah. Thirty. Amazing.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Lady Dalrymple.

Muir thinks thirty lobbyists is a massive number. This is yet more proof that Muir spent the Bush II years with his head up Cheney's ass.

"Yeah, I Should Have Just Hired An Illegal Immigrant For Pennies A Day!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because this area is being monitored by security cameras.

A lame pun somehow segues into union-bashing, leaving us to stare in horror at the nightmare that is Zed and Sam, a nightmare which forces us to ask--is there a God in a universe that produces things like this? And does He pick up checks?

Bears. With power tools.

Also, A Nice Bottle of Chiante...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because trespassers will be shot.

More fuel for the "secret serial killers" theory.

Also, bears. With power tools.

Says Mr. Softcore.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because after that, you couldn't get arrested in this town.

You know--while Sullivan's Palin and Trig fascination sometimes heads into the ridiculous, he generally has a point, and is often reacting to Palin's use of her disabled son as a political prop. But then, Sullivan, love him, hate him, or roll your eyes at him, is a guy who actually seems to think about things. Muir is a braindead lump who just jabbers the garbage Fox and the Repubs spoonfeed him.

Still--no gay jokes this time. I should probably be happy for small miracles.

No, Muir, It Hasn't.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Sabata!

Muir doesn't know what he's talking about. Because he's heremetically sealed himself off from real news--to keep himself better informed, you see--and because he avoids any detailed examination of a subject--because that's for stupid left-wing eggheads--he believes that the talking points he's heard have "disproven" global warming. That said talking points are devoid of context in the best cases, any scientific merit whatsoever in the worst--well, he'd actually have to know something to discover that, and Muir is highly resistant to knowing things.

And so, once again, Muir salutes himself for being the pawn of evil. Hurray for you, dipshit.

"Time For Me To Yammer Pseudoscience At Her!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because there are two kinds of people, those with loaded guns, and those who dig.

Ahh, yes. Time for another display of massive ignorance on the part of Muir's cast which is supposed to demonstrate how smart they are. And since an ignorant jackass writes the strip and gets to decide what's real in and what's not, there's no way to call them on it.

Fuck you, Muir. Fuck you and every stupid fucker who's willing to sacrifice the well-being of everyone on the planet so they can lie to themselves about how damn clever they are.

"I Mean--You Were An Incompetent Marketing Director At Mystery Business(tm), And You've Got This Web Thing Thanks To Your Daddy's Billions!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Shinsengumi.

As Muir broadcasts from the Square Planet, we pause to consider that it's once again being unwittingly telegraphed that none of our cast possesses anything that even aproximates a normal life. That, coupled with their horrible sociopathy, is a large part of what makes Day by Day such a terrible read. It's bad as comedy, bad as drama, bad as political commentary, and bad as art. And because he can work from his tiny bubble, tune out any criticism as "liberal bias" and absorb the desperate praise of right-wingers, eager to defend ANYTHING that agrees with them, Muir continues to churn out this streak of rat's piss, this daily serving of dog vomit, oblivious to the fact that he's a massive existential failure, an incompetent artist botching his own talking points.

And yes, I've said all of this before. But every so often, the strip's sheer mass of incompetence strikes me so much, I just have to comment on it.