Never Not Be Whining.

 It's the Day's Day of Days! Because The Sea Hound.

Well, at least they're not talking about plans to set up a death camp at the moment...

The Mystery Business(TM) Era; Part 12: One Of The Worst 'Will-They-Won't-They' Plotlines Ever Depicted Resolves. Terribly.

And so, onto the next part of the Character Assassination of the Liberal Stooge Jan by the Hack Chris Muir. As I've noted previously, the idea that Jan and Damon had this incredible romantic chemistry is something Muir kept tossing out there throughout the Early Period. It wasn't true, but he very much thought it was, hence years of strips where he kept treating Damon's either belittling Jan or acting like a disgusting horndog towards her as some sort of romantic appeal. But with the start of the Late Period, he really stepped it up. Over a series of storylines, starting with the 'Damon quits because Pepsi said mean things about Bush!' one I mentioned in the last installment, Muir gradually hooked up the pair.

The definitive plot where it happened was one where Damon's house got seized and demolished by Florida for eminent domain purposes without any warning--Muir really hates eminent domain--Jan offered to let him stay with her, and, well, that was that. Just as Sam and Zed just sort of were a couple, all at once, Jan and Damon wound up one, and again, that was that.

It's astonishing, really, how little mileage Muir got out of something that he clearly imagined was providing a major plotline. No romantic false leads. No breakups followed by reconciliations. As usual, things just sort of happened, while keeping things almost completely within the tiny little cast he'd provided for the strip. Muir can't write romance for the same reason he can't write anything--there's something in him that just hates having bad things happen to his cast. Damon and Jan wound up another example of what is the typical DbD couple, devoid of any real conflict in their relationship, and with no real chemistry, despite their creator being convinced they possessed oodles of it.

What was worse was what a nasty, dysfunctional dynamic he gave to the pair. Prior to hooking up with Jan, Damon had either been dismissive of her, or had been making passes at her, and afterwards... well, he still was, only now when the second happened, Jan just sort of went along with it. And while she would still fight back against the first, it was generally less and less in the manner of someone who genuinely believed what she was saying and more as someone putting in a token effort. Jan's behavior over this and well, the early stages of the Transition Era, are what caused me to start referring to Muir's cast as 'the hivemind', to symbolize how not only are they all Muir using sock puppets, but for the way that main cast members who are initially shown having distinct opinions are usually warped into just another such puppet in something that feels like it slipped in from a Body Snatchers movie. But Jan's case, well, it's extra unpleasant. Because with her, it has the genuine feel of an abusive relationship, a significant other browbeating and gaslighting their partner until they wind up just echoing their opinions back to them.

In time, Jan's original personality would completely collapse, leaving her without any function in the strip save to show up and agree with Damon. But that would take a while. We would still get many years of watching her and Damon's relationship drag on in that very unpleasant manner I mentioned.

Once Again, He's Certain THIS Time The Mass Arrests Will Be Really Real!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because The Vigilante.

Muir's ability to convince himself that this time his fascist dreams are gonna happen, not only AFTER countless previous disappointments, but in the middle of multiple ones AND while watching the Trump administration unravel is almost impressive, in a wretched, pathetic way.

"Waaah! They Have To Be Cheating!"

 It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Jack Armstrong.

You know, this is a fascinating multi-level fail right here. Aside from the 'So the California Democrats will cheat to push out a Republican Mayoral candidate, but not a Republican Gubernatorial candidate" bit, he's failing to consider that if Pratt had gotten in, he would have then had to win... the actual election.

But then, anything that let's Muir whine and scream that it isn't fair, and the other guys are cheating.

This Would Be Such An Inconvenience For Them, Personally.

 It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Son of the Guardsman.

It's a good example of the moral wretchedness of this fictional universe that Sam and Zed clearly feel the only morally objectionable part of this proposed death camp is that they, a family of good volk would be near it. 

And that they overcome this objection by thinking that, well, hey, they'd be guys doing some of the murdering.

For The Mass Arrests! That Are Surely Coming THIS Time!

 It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Chick Carter, Detective.

You know, there's both the chilling part of this--Muir spouts this Nazi bullshit and doesn't even realize it's Nazi bullshit, he thinks he's being a patriotic Murican--and the deeply amusing part of this--Muir imagines his little secret prison for dissidents at a time when his lumpish hero is running out of juice on nearly every front.

Destroying It Completely, Yet Again.

 It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Hop Harrigan.

You know, the amount of times they've utterly thwarted this preposterous thing after previously utterly thwarting it takes on a certain comic grandeur that only gets better when the completely ridiculous nature of it--a prospective Muslim-only building project, on the Texas border--is considered. This is Muir so desperate for a hate object, he throws one together in a hurry, then keeps putting the resulting jumble back up so he can knock it down again.