It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Jungle Raiders.
There's something extra-pathetic in how Muir whines about his tiny besieged island of Right-wing culture... during a fucking Republican trifecta. But of course that doesn't count, because it isn't magi-winning the way he was sure it was going to.
I'd originally planned to talk about Jan and Damon's relationship, but then I saw that the very first storyline to actually ratchet it up involved the emergence of Don Portago's increased role in the strip, so you know what? We're doing this.
Now, Don Portago was introduced primarily to announce that oh, yes Jan was Hispanic, but he did a lot more than that. He also established that she was from a wealthy upbringing. Why Muir decided this was something he had to do isn't necessarily clear--part of it was doubtless to further underline that she was his own stereotype of a liberal, a child of privilege whose views were just the result of being coddled. But it's hard not to suspect that another part was on some level Muir feeling that making Jan Hispanic necessitated giving her more advantages to make her fit that stereotype. Jan as a merely middle-class Hispanic woman doesn't hit the way a Hispanic woman who has never and will never have to worry about money does.
In essence--Muir knew on some level that what he liked to think was bullshit, and if he didn't give Jan more money than she needed, people would naturally start seeing her as facing problems in life. And so her father was made into an insanely wealthy and connected man.
This would have a profound effect on the strip, and in fact, it wouldn't take long for it to emerge. A storyline in 2025 would see Damon quitting in a huff when he found that Mystery Business(tm)'s primary stock holder was Pepsi, whose CEO had said some unkind things about Dubya. Jan, instead of seeing this as a profoundly childish and unprofessional behavior, was filled with admiration, because Muir was convinced he was writing something like Sam and Diane. And so Jan went to her father... who simply bought the company.
Now, this little plot detail was never brought up again, not least of all because Muir just didn't understand what he'd done here. But to mix my Greek metaphors, Pandora's Box was opened, and Muir had discovered the use of a Deus ex machina to have lowered from the heavens at will. El Dorado's Dad improbable wealth would be popping up quite a bit in the future whenever Muir figured he needed it... and that was only the first of these Plot Coupons (as I like to call them) to appear. Soon, they'd proliferate, leading to the bizarre world the cast lives in now.
But then, a lot of very stupid, silly things were put into motion at this stage of the strip.
It's the Day's Day of Days! Because The Monster and the Ape.
Ahh. Now he's wishing for 2025.
When he was wishing for 2024.
When he was wishing for 2023.
When...
You just really wonder when 'Every year, it's taking longer and longer' will break through, but then, so much doesn't with Muir.
It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Brenda Starr, Reporter.
I see Muir's trying to distract himself from watching the Second Trump Administration hit its terminal phase by looking across the Atlantic for things to be a racist moral nullity about.
It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Black Arrow.
I'll give him this--it took real effort to create the worst 'Cast Member as Bad Reporter' plotline, but damn it, he did it.
It's the Day's Day of Days! Because The Desert Hawk.
And once again, delusion and utter sycophancy is the sign of a great reporter in Muir's mind. At least, if the government is a fascist trainwreck. Anyone else must see you trying to hurl crazyshit against the wall to see if it will stick.
It's the Day's Day of Days! Because The Phantom.
Most of the nation looks on the slush fund, and sees obvious corruption that will be used to finance the seditious goons that Trump already got off the hook for further seditious goonery.
Muir thinks he sees a winning issue and more proof of how his opponents are stupid and he is so smart.
