Muir Feels Smug And Superior About Hating Modern Culture And Football.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because The Main Death.

I won't lie, there's something deeply amusing about the Right's endless wingdings about pro football these days, bigoted whiny scolds screaming at everyone else for having fun, and also, how can you say them being mean shitheads isn't fun, sn-snowflake? On some level, you think they feel it, that they have not only made themselves into precisely what their enemies said they were, but also what they said their enemies were at the same time.

Stay Classy Muir.

 It's the Day's Day of Days! Because whole foods.

I never expected to feel sympathy with Aaron Rodgers, and yet that horrible accident happened. And now this strip has happened, and I'm feeling it again, because his misfortune is being used for a terrible joke in this awful, awful strip.

Muir. Wrong About Everything, And Proud Of It.

 It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Yazoo Street Scandal.

Muir's Gnosticism has been a thing for a while. It's just now it extends to things that directly threaten him, instead of things that he can convince himself aren't happening.

"Ha Ha Ha! This Is Somehow Good News For Us!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because he played a tune, and danced around the gallows tree.

...

Muir has achieved such maximum discombobulation that he isn't just recasting losses as wins in the strip, he's writing losses and somehow imagining they're wins.

"How Dare They Not Hate Gays! How Dare They!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because English Usage.

So, what exactly is Russian Guyovitch's issue with Putin again?

"We Are The Oppressed Ones Who Are Wronged!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because buy me a log.

...I think even Muir is losing track of how this is supposed to work now.

"The Lack Of Wrongness With This Is Epic!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because marine mammals.

...

...

...

Oh, God, it's going to get worse.

"Never Gonna Give This Up!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because sometimes, you gotta mellow slow.

Truly, gun owners are the real victims here.

Besides all the dead people, of course.

"There's A Point To All This!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because Tai Chi for beginners.

Meanwhile, people die in Puerto Rico.

"Of Course! Sexism! That Was What This Discussion Was Missing!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because insects.

...

He's just not giving up on this, is he?

"And This Proves We're Totally Not Racist!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because Goblin Market.

Ah, yes, that one line from a speech racists always quote out of context to make people believe that King would totes be on their side.

"Your Protest Means What I Want It To Mean!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because a legend in his own time.

...Well, at least it's short.

"And I Say This Because I Am Rugged And Manly."

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because History of Britain.

Well, I'm glad he's found something to distract himself...

Okay, "glad" is probably the wrong word.  "Wearily  resigned".  And it beats more looks at the horrible cast.

"Just You Wait! He's Going To Destroy The NFL."

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because Humphrey Clinker.

This is almost like watching seven year olds boast about how tough their dads are.

"And Then We'd Eat A Manly Breakfast Of Waffles Together!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because a book of Greek antiquities.

...

And we're straight into a bad fanfic of real life.

"While Us Manly Men Know You Have To Punch People!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because fabric.

Remember, an insanely aggressive foreign policy can never fail, it can only be failed.

"Was World War One Over When The Martians Bombed Scranton?"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because Kurmainz.

This strip cowritten by Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.

"I'm Sure I Know What I'm Talking About Here!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because hat.

Enjoy the old man shouting at clouds through his creepy female ventriloquist dummy.

"I'm Not! You Are!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because slow ride.

I believe people's big problem with Tebow was that he was a self-aggrandizing asshole, with the over-the-top displays of "piety" being a quirk of that.

"Heh Heh. I Make Funny Bout Gay!"

It's the Day's Day of Days!  Because hearts of oak are our ships, jolly tars our are men.

Those bastards.  Screaming their empathy at you.