"Why If I'd Been There, I'd Have Stopped Him With My INFINITE SUPPLY OF MANLINESS!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because have I the right to riches?

Of course, adding more guns to that situation would probably have made it even bloodier, with people shooting each other as they tried to shoot the gunman, and any "accomplices", in a darkened theater, with a movie blaring away.  But hey--we're in Square Planet territory now...