Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It's False Equivalency Time!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Diomedes, Breaker of Horses!

Wow. Muir tries his usual approach to an undeniable, 'won't go away if he shuts his eyes' Republican scandal--insist that a Democratic scandal is just as bad. The problem is in this case, he's chosen a "scandal" that isn't even Democratic. He mentions one unaffliated nutso who was arrested for threatening a Republican, while ignoring the small horde of death threats and violent actions against Democratic Reps--including at least one that involved severing gas lines at a house the assailant thought was the Rep's. (It was in fact the Rep's brother's.) But Muir ignores those, to focus on this lone man, who represents what he is certain is the truth--Democrats are violent thugs. That's why he's making all the war noises.

To end this the way Muir would end a strip--I didn't realize Muir lived in Egypt. Because damn it, he's deep in denial.


Thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

And That Proves We're Right!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because I shall wear my trousers rolled.




Well, that was a bizarre display of idiocy, hypocrisy, and religious ignorance all rolled up in one big ball of crazy-FAIL.

Monday, March 29, 2010

President Blacula! He's SCARY!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Salma Hayek!

"Yep! Five billion! That's what my crazy sources tell me, and I believe them! Because like every true patriot, I know that our government is a vile cesspool incapable of proper action.

"Except for wars and torture! Those I can get behind!"

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Wese Is The Bravestest Sons And Daughters of Liberty, Yes We Is!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because he whistled and he sang until the green woods rang, and he won the heart of the lady.

"How dare a Democratic President with a sizable majority in Congress--pass PROGRAMS WE DON'T LIKE! We are the important good people, and things should always go the way we want them! Because we're special! And right! The last eight years PROVED that! With the torture! And the war! The signs of freedom! As opposed to health care! The badge of tyranny!"


Saturday, March 27, 2010

"Even Liberal Jan Admits The Media Is Too Liberal!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because come on, Eileen!

The fact that they refuse to acknowledge the truth of President's Blacula's horrific Islamocommufacsism PROVES the media have been bought out by him! It's ALL a plot! NURSE! MORE SERUM!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Violence! Pffft!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Dinah won't you blow your horn?

So there've been a few reports of bricks thrown in windows and death threats and the like. So what? It's evil and wrong of the liberal media to report these actions of True American Patriots(tm). Especially since they're not happening--and we will prove it with our cell phones.


Thursday, March 25, 2010

"Why Must They Insist Our Racism Is Racism?"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because red tape!

Muir's Imaginary Black Friend is offended by all the "false"--which is another way of saying "true"--calls of racism. Why can't they leave the teabaggers alone? So they use the "n-word" occasionally! It's not a big deal! At least--Muir doesn't think it is! And he writes about his imaginary black friend all the time, so he should know what bothers black people!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Insert Honkey Foot Into Cracker Mouth!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because there are stars!




Wow. Using his black sock puppet to insist that Obama's JUST as racist as the teabaggers if they both said what they might have said, of which there's no proof! (Okay, there's video and quite a bit of eyewitness testimony of the teabaggers--but aside from that--nothing!) Check. Insulting the GOP for apologizing? Check. It's always fun with Muir's cheap mask falls off and we see that despite any weak claims to the contrary he's just another dumb white guy who wants the days when guys like him were the only one calling the shots back--days which of course, never existed.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"If I Say It, It Must Be True!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because is he tough? Listen, bud--he's got radioactive blood!

I mean--if the government does it--it has to be ruinously expensive! And private industry must be quick and efficient! That's how it is! What's that? Our "market-driven" insurance system wasn't just grotesquely unfair, it was bloated, inefficient, and highly unstable? It applied economic principles in a situation where they don't quite apply?


Monday, March 22, 2010

"Fight For The Right To NOT Have Healthcare! For The Right To Die Like A Dog!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Luuuucy!

As Muir begins to enter wingnut panic, he reminds us that true patriots oppose making people's lives better. By any means necessary.

Which is not a call to arms. Really. He hasn't actually said it's time to use violence. You can't prove he did. He just meant "fight through any legal means". But this version was punchier. Honest.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

"We're The Good Guys, Damn It!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because I can't believe I ate the whole thing!

Muir opens with a cheap attack, and then decries cheap attacks. And he absolutely denies that he is pro-war, racist, homophobic and sexist. I mean he'd know if he was, right? It's not like he's gone around saying pro-war, racist, homophobic and sexist things. In a web comic, for example.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

"How Dare They Assault My Pomposity!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because O Lucky Man.


Yeah. Sam is shocked to see her mouthful of gobbledygook brushed off by her rep's office, despite the fact that she's making less sense then they are. Still, this is the closest were ever going to get to seeing someone call our cast of vile morons on their endless bullshit. So, try to make with the happy.

Friday, March 19, 2010

A Political Expertise Few Can Match!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because shoo fly, don't bother me.

They're not voting directly--but they are voting. Which is why getting the votes is such a big deal. And things like this are quirks that have developed over our two centuries of parlimentary procedure. Like--you know--the filibuster.

But hey, this is clearly a base betrayal of America! Like Health Care Reform! And being liberal!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

In Their Own Minds.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the actor prepares.

At the moment, the right wing is busily declaring Baier's interview a massive win for their side. The reaction of everyone else is--less positive. Baier is your classic Fox hack so interested in attack, he never quite figured out how the whole journalism thing works. Not that this matters, because Fox fans live in their own mental world, where Fox's open bias and general shrillness are all signs that is the One True News Network.

This is the right's greatest problem--it holds no sup with reality. The right wing is right because it is right, and that's all there is to it. Those who deny this are evil fools, and the right is brave to stand up to them, because it is brave to stand up to them. That's how it is, because that's how it is. Don't you try to get them with the truth. They've got closed minds, because a mind should be closed, damn it.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

"Hence It Was Completely Different!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because cherry bomb!

And once again, Muir shows a remarkable dearth of knowledge on a subject he's loudly blabbing about, apparently thinking that if something's an amendment, it has to be minor, and not important.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

"I Mean, It's Not Like Torture, Which Was Good And Right!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Rigoletto!

Muir, who ignored Constitutional violations that were not merely real, but grotesque and morally abominable, is going into a fainting fit about an imaginary Constitutional violation. Because he's so opposed to health care reform, he thinks anything that gives us it has to be against the law.


Monday, March 15, 2010

"This Is EXACTLY What They're Doing! Kinda!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the first rays of a new sun.

Yeah. Once again--they voted on it in the past. They'll vote on it in the future. They simply won't be voting on it in a manner that the Repubs can pull out a filibuster on and thus protect us from getting health care reform.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

"Doesn't Obama Know We Beat The Frogs In 1812?"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because this afternoon we had a long telephone conversation earlier in the day.

The fact that the Democratic majority refuses to be stopped by the Republican minority is PROOF that President Blacula is an evil absolute monarch! The government should NOT DO THINGS! Even if it's already involved in the things in the first place! It's all a plot! To destroy our rights! And oppress us! With healthcare!

You know, Muir should really quit the Ancient Regime references. They just point out how he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

"How Could People Be Moved By The Suffering Of Others?"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because every day is a winding road.

So... every horror caused by our flawed health care system--is proof we don't need to improve our health care system. Apparently.

I don't like people from the Square Planet.

Friday, March 12, 2010

"Majorities Don't Count If They're Democratic!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the Mongol Horde!

Right. Without a vote. Aside from the votes they already DID. Which passed it.

Hooh boy...

Thursday, March 11, 2010

So Much FAIL...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because exactly as planned.

Yeah, Muir is obviously referring to Louis XVI, who, of course, was not the sixteenth King of France, but the sixteenth King of France named Louis. (Also he wasn't really that, as the French forgot to count all the Merovingians named Clovis, which is simply 'Louis' in Frankish. But I digress...) And of course, what did happen to Louis XVI? He was executed by a revolutionary government which had taken over as a result of his failed republican reforms. Said-revolution marked the end of centuries of autocratic rule. This has NOTHING to do with Obama. Muir thinks it does because he's an imbecile who likes to imagine he's a bold soldier against tyranny, when he is in fact a guy who polishes tyranny's shiny boots for tips.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What A Shock!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because thanks for all the fish.

Wow. Who could have seen that the guy who accused Rahm of accosting him naked in the showers would have a creepy gay sex scandal in the wings? And it looked like the Repubs were lined up for another Traitor-Dem to hail as a hero! Josephus Cassius Liebermanius has been getting lonely.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

" 'Cause, Ewww! Guy Parts!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because quietly the pirates creep, when all the house is sound asleep.

There are many possible responses to Massa's accusations. Muir opts for the gay joke. What a surprise. I thought it was beneath him.

And HOW the hell did Jan do that? And what the hell exactly is she doing? Hugging him? Choking him? Preparing to lay eggs in him?

Monday, March 8, 2010

"He LIES! Kinda."

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because a COCK and a BULL, said Yorick.

Muir continues his amazing vigilance, looking for even a hint of scandal and falsehood, in hopes that a Republican can get elected, and he can go back to ignoring all but the most blatant of abuses of power.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

That Evil Harpy!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because he that told it later says Lynette.

So--Skye is bad because she makes up stories based on movies to set out her political point of view. Just like her sister. And Muir for that matter. Oh, and she's trying to brainwash kids! Just... like her sister.

Muir really isn't good at keeping track of his fictional universe, is he?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

"He Was A Real American Hero!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because gassenhauer!

Muir chasties the RINOs for not standing behind Jim Bunning in his epic quest to prevent poor people from getting money. Letting people starve in the streets will propel the Republicans towards VICTORY!

Friday, March 5, 2010


It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Elsa!

Muir writes from the Square Planet on a pseudoscandal only interesting to those who are dedicated to the proposition that President Blacula is the greatest threat to the USA EVER! Strangely, this group ignored Bush's politicizing of the Justice Department when it happened before transforming into hyperviligant defenders of our liberty, able to spot corruption from the vaguest threat of a shadow.

Okay. Not strangely.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

"The Funny Little Quirks That Are The Only Things That Make You Discernable As You!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because my grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf, so it sat ninety years on the floor.

I was considering making some comment on Muir's witless HCR bashing, but then it occurred to me that Jan's opening remarks are a pretty blatant demonstration of Muir's limitations as a writer. Jan brings up marketing in a situation that has nothing to do with marketing. Why? Because 'marketing' (or Muir's rather poor understanding of it) is what she's about, a sort of rudimentary version of a character trait. So, she brings it up whenever she can, even if it really doesn't fit the subject or the conversation. Because--that's what she does. The fact that it's a laughable demonstration of her failure as a character--well, Muir doesn't notice that.

This is why Zed and Sam were often obsessed with how old they were, by the way, and now see fit to remind us that they're ordinary Joes.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

"Oh, Who Will Protect The Poor Downtrodden CEO From The Tyranny Of The Proles?"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because dear Prudence, greet the brand new day!

Muir ends his long streak of exceptionally bad cartoons with a simple story of the Right Wing's paranoid narrative about unions in general and SEIU in particular. Teabaggers need stories like this to keep themselves from admitting that they're pretty much the American edition of European reactionary movements.

Sadly, the 'we're only doing this to protect ourselves' narrative demonstrates why they're EXACTLY like said movements.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Now With An Extra Serving Of Ick!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the same accidents often happen to different people.

Why, Muir's creepy breastfeeding fetish! It's been a while! Come pull up a chair, and tell us how you're doing!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Ignorance Am Strength!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because ol' Jed's a millionare!

Chris Muir shows his dedication to stupidity and evil, with a variety of claims so ridiculous that it'd be merely funny if they weren't the sort of thing that could wind up killing us all.

Muir--he's such an independent thinker he believes whatever his masters tell him.