Monday, October 31, 2011

"Foolish Puppets Of The Illuminati!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Francis the Talking Mule.

"Ha! They are not at all like our genuinely grass-roots corporate-backed Tea Party, and thus, are false!"

Sunday, October 30, 2011

"He's A Politician!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because old fashioned creme drops.

Ahh, the sweet, sweet sound of circular firing squads. Keep shooting, Muir. Purity of the Party is the true road to victory!

Friday, October 28, 2011

"They Fail To Understand Their Ordained Place In Creation!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the boy and the body.

Why does this sound like the sort of thing you'd hear from a demented serial killer whose keeping a body in the fridge?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

"I Have Rented 'War and Peace' And I Will Watch It!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because I have reached the eighth level!

You know, Guyovitch reminds me of the Russian Planeteer, whose Russianess consisted of a bad accent and saying 'da' and 'nyet' all the time.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

And If Russian Guyovitch Says They're Communists, They Have To Be!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because who knows?

So Muir's one argument against the Occupy Wall Street is to shout 'Commie, Commie, Commie!' over and over again. Nice.

You know--there's still a Communist Party in Russia. They're actually the second most powerful party in the Duma.

Just mentioning that.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

"Yes, Marxists! In The Employ Of Comintern, The Damned Bolshies!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because your uncle was a great enchanter.

"But you fought for an America where the rich are free to abuse the poor, where the powerless may rest assured that the jackboot of authority will be slammed into their faces for all eternity, where words like 'tyranny' and 'war' mean the same thing as 'liberty' and 'peace'. And where lousy cubist pinup girls loll around in tubs endlessly!"

Monday, October 24, 2011

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Here's Hoping The Late Graham Chapman Rises From The Grave And Kicks His Ass.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because everybody called him the Fuh King.

Yeah, those weak liberals! They are all sheep, not like those individualistic Right-Wingers, who simply choose to follow the ramblings of Rush and Beck in lockstep.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011

"They Also Don't Know They're Part Of An Insidious Conspiracy!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because ramble on.

So, they don't know a) a fact that most Americans likely don't; and b) an assertion of nebulous value, and they believe something that, while untrue, is significantly less ridiculous than Muir thinks it is. (But Muir never pays attention to military spending, which he apparently views as magical, serving as no drain on our funds at all.) And so they deserve the scorn of Chris Muir, a man who believes that they are closet Nazis, under the heel of the Jewish conspirator George Soros.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

"You Are All Misled! I Know The Truth! It's The Illuminati!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because horns of dilemma.

Jeez, you'd think if Obama was the diabolical mastermind Muir paints him as we'd be a lot closer to the Socialist dictatorship Muir is certain he is trying to usher in. But this is always the reactionary's great problem--convinced of his opponent's utter depravity, he acts utterly depraved. Convinced that he is facing a gargantuan conspiracy, he forges a conspiracy to fight it. In becoming what he imagines his opponent to be he naturally runs into the problem of reality refusing to match his imaginings--but this only becomes more proof of his enemy's insidious power. And he runs into the problem that real depravity appalls onlookers, and real conspiracies are usually quite obvious. But as the reactionary has the support of much of the powers that be, he can continue sheltered from any severe fallback from his actions. Ultimately, however, things can only end badly. If the reactionary gains control of the government, he generally causes a national collapse. If he continues trying and failing, the constant escalation provokes either a revolution or a crackdown.

The USA, of course, has been lucky, both in its government and its freedom. And yet now, we face a horde of Muirs, men who do not believe in the process, and yet imagine they do.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

"He's A Diabolical Megalomaniac!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because shut up, Kraut.

And that is why we need an ultra-Rightist in power, who will respect the rights of the citizens enough to let the wealthy get all their money, AND invade the Middle East.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Monday, October 17, 2011

"It Needs More Power!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because make them eat dog food.

"It must veer completely to the Right! And if that means it goes off the road--then we will build a new road! Out of the bones of poor people!"

Sunday, October 16, 2011

"Walls And Walls Of Text Will Protect Me!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because let me in.

So, Muir follows an accusation that Occupy Wall Street Protesters are like Nazis--by saying they are in the pocket of the evil George Soros. Who is Jewish, a fact Muir is apparently ignorant of. And then, Muir, who insisted that the Tea Party is a big deal, insists that the sizable crowds that the movement is gathering don't count, because, well they aren't that big. (Why is this not true of the Tea Party? Because one conservative is worth a hundred liberals, of course.) And wrapping it all together--enviromentalism bashing, multicuturalism bashing, and boomer bashing. (Or more exactly, bashing all the boomers who couldn't be like Muir and simply do what they were told.)

It's fascinating, really, watching Muir throw everything against the wall in his ongoing effort to remind himself that he's the smart, good one who knows what's happening. Not like his stupid, evil, lazy opponents.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Mandated Beta Couple.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Jim Broadbent.

What is their relationship built on, again? Aside from plot necessity?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

"Vague Buzzwords. That's The Ticket."

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Don John of Austria.

Because clearly, the one precludes the other.

To be fair, I somewhat doubt Muir is even aware of what he means here. So let's just sit back and... enjoy the not-racism, shall we?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

"The Blind Fools! Surely Only The Black Hundreds Are Worthy Of Their Money!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because my name is red.

Of course, Muir's... "grassroots" heroes the Tea Party is also funded by millionares, but that is to serve the glorious cause of making sure that millionares become billionares, which is proper, and right.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Monday, October 10, 2011

Maggots Fighting In A Corpse, And Other Pleasant Sights.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Gassenhauer.

Ahh, see them turn on each other. Unsurprisingly, Muir is offended by one of the first times on record when Erikson says something... well, less inane than usual.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

"Those Damn British, And Their War Of Northern Aggression!"

It's of the Day of Days! Because Derek Jacobi.

Well, even Muir seems to understand on some level that his version of American history is crap, a sad costume game with no basis in reality. But it's largely subconscious--this just another chance fof more cubist cheesecake. And of course, Palin-boosting. Because remember--a conservative is never at fault. They always have an excuse. Personal responsibility is something to bludgeon those wimpy liberals with.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

"Why Did You Dare Criticize Our Glorious War?"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the Rats of NIMH.

"Well, for a start, your representation of the issue is simplistic in the extreme, and indeed, often simply wrong. What's more, your efforts to create moral equivalency--or even superiority--for the Bush administration ignore that by the utilitarian measure you seem to be invoking, the Bush wars were more damaging. Of course, you are also ignoring that the war in Iraq was, by most measures, unneccessary, and based on false premises, but that's to be expected. So, have a nice day, you smug, self-righteous shit. And hope you never suffer real persecution, because frankly--you can't handle it."

Friday, October 7, 2011

"This Is All A Big Deal!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the Batphone!

And so Muir continues to run his hamster wheel of self-validation, where the fact that the conspiracies he's sure exist recieve so little play are proof of how true they are. He knows that Obama is a sinister plotter, plotting sinister. He has to be.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I'm Going To Bang My Head Against The Wall Now...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the vessel with the pestle holds the pellet with the poison--the chalice from the palace holds the brew that is true.



Does Muir flip a coin to decide which tack of crazy he's going to be taking today?

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

"And Let's Not Forget Stonewall Jackson And His Dinosaur Calvalry!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because iko iko un day.

Muir's lack of historical know-how is so glaring that even his readers have caught him up on it. Louis XIV was the Sun King, so called because he was the absolute monarch of the most powerful nation in Europe--his many-times great-grandson Louis XVI was the monarch overthrown in the Revolution who was married to Marie Antoinette. (Marie was also certainly innocent of causing the French deficit, and was hated because she was, to the eyes of most French, a dirty foreigner. The actual deficit had many causes, most notably, financing the American Revolution.)

Of course, Muir doesn't really care about facts--like any good Black Hundred member he knows that once the dirty liberals are beaten up, all will be well.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

"Her Decadence Is Outrageous!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Albrecht von Wallenstein.

Muir continues his tortured, nonsensical "Obamas as French aristocrats" theme. His bizarre back and forth from phony populism to blatant elitism are fairly typical of the doublethink that has overtaken the Right these days--they don't want to let liberal bluebloods take away the hard-earned millions of regular Joes like you. And of course, in the background lurks the notion that "those people" don't have the right to be successful.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Sunday, October 2, 2011

And Shakespeare Wept.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because fly like an eagle.

And once again Muir whines about the mote in his brother's eye while not noticing the log in his own. AND he mangles one of the English-language greatest writers while he does it.



It's going to be a long election year.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

"Just Like A Nazi! I Mean It!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because pigeons from hell.

"I mean it! Just like the Nazis! And that's why I think the Tea Party needs a paramilitary wing! To protect us from harm!"