Monday, May 31, 2010

...Ugh.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because plans are nothing--planning is everything.

Muir celebrates Memorial Day by making a racist, sexist crack at Michelle Obama, in part of his ongoing efforts to make folks like me ashamed of being white.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

"Why Doesn't The Government Listen To Sociopathic Drunks Like Myself? Why?"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because there is no out--only in!

Muir is certain that any effort by the government to do things is a malign plot to seize power, that Obama is evil, and stupid, and he can be gotten rid of, and that he knows what the hell he's talking about. Also, he knows that his cast--and he as well--have no obligation to do anything.

It's that time again, people.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

"On The Square Planet, We Know That Hatred Is Good, Incompetence Is Never To Blame For Problems, And Alcohol Is Good For You!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because FU Dick.

Remember--building a mosque at Ground Zero is letting the terrorists win, because that's what Bin Laden wanted the whole time. And stating the Bush Administration's lengthy pass to BP is responsible for the accident is whining! It's all against what Muir knows to be real patriotism--being a whiny right-wing white guy with a vague grudge against everybody who isn't a whiny right-wing white guy!

Friday, May 28, 2010

"And If I A Conservative Say It About Them, It Must Be True!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because you might think that--I couldn't possibly comment.

Muir is a supporter of Ayn Rand and Objectivism, the most elitist philosophy in existence that doesn't posit the divine right of kings. However, when attacking liberals, Muir allows himself to be guided by his faux-populism which states that anyone who appears to be smarter than him is a no-good elitist who can't be trusted. These are of course, two contradictory ideas, and you might wonder how Muir squares believing both these things at the same time.

The answer is he doesn't. He just believes that he is a strong-minded individual who helps keep society running--with his little webcomic, of course--and an average Joe beset by evil wealthy liberals that want to enslave him with health care. Believing either one of these things would make Muir a fool. Believing both at the same time makes him a colossal fool.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

'Ha Ha! Let's Kill That Fattie, Al Gore!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Marvin K. Mooney will you please go now!

Yeah. Stay classy, Muir. You brain-dead little putz.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

"And We Do This By Not Supporting Them At All!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because don't tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

Ahh, the eternal 'liberals are babies! Conservatives are all growed-up' screed. Because everyone knows being an adult means not caring about anybody but you, baby!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Twist And Shout!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because a star, a star!

Muir finally notices a disaster--in time to push the Square Planet version of what's happening. A planet where Bobby Jindal is the soul of concerned competent governence.



It's kind of a sad, really.

Monday, May 24, 2010

...Ooooh, Boy...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the street is Pyncheon-street.

Pfft. Regulations! Why can't the government just trust companies to do the right thing? They've shown they're generally trustworthy, right?

And, boy, Latin America, eh?

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BEARS WITH POWER TOOLS! NOW, DAMN IT!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Workers Must Learn To Obey The Masters!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because her eyes are just kept to herself.

Yeah. Believing that you have rights as a worker is so Marxist! And as annoying as Jehovah Witnesses! And Muir is a colossal talent!



Will this picture ever stop being relevant to this strip, I wonder?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Sometimes, This Strip Reminds Of Beckett. And Not In A Good Way.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because do-do-dio-do.

Ahh. Yes. More breast-feeding fetish. Ha ha. Delightful.

Bears! With! Power! TOOLS!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Ohh, Boy...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because hey--teacher--leave the kids alone!

Preparing to launch straw man in 5... 4... 3...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Filler Boy!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because it's down to me!

Well, I see two cloaked samurai warriors about to square off.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Yep! All A Set Up For A Penis Joke.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because hands across the water--WATER--hands across the sky!

Remember--there's never a bad time to bring up Captain Mitty's Mighty Member!

Also, bears. With power tools.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

"One Of These Things Does Not Belong..."

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because you're poison running through my veins.

Muir insists the Great Society, a set of programs that reduced poverty, increased medical coverage and improved standards of living in the USA, are cast in the same mode as the Great Leap Forward, a set of totalitarian programs aimed at creating a command economy that resulted in mass starvation and government repression in China. This is easy for him to do, because Muir lacks any genuine political philosophy, and thus can lie--or at the very least, state utter falsehoods--with no misgivings whatsoever. What Muir has instead is a hatred of the left, and a tendency to absorbe talking points. Muir blabs about small government, and yet adores the largest, most wasteful section of it, and would gladly see that section expanding and doing more and more.

And since that section is the one that would actually be used to oppress us if the government actually were to become an authoritarian dictatorship...

Well, it says a lot about his commiment to freedom.

Monday, May 17, 2010

"Oh, Thank God! Something To Be Pissed About!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because they left him to die a tramp on the street.

Muir's been kind of at a loss lately. Though he's sailing high on wings of delusion and paranoia, some dim awareness seems to be leaking in that the terrifying Orwellian nightmare he envisioned the Obama presidency as isn't happening. Of course, he can keep himself from actively noticing this, but the fact remains--the storylines he envisioned involving black helicopters have had to wait, and he's had nothing to replace them with but vague unease. And thus, when something he can complain about lumbers into view, even if he has only the vaguest idea of why it offends him--he leaps into action! Yippe-ki-yay!

Oh, and having a Jewish man wanting to unleash a "pogram"? Stay classy, Muir.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Tallking Through Your Ass Is A Sign You're Smart!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because the House of the Dead.

Muir continues to flounder around like a head trauma patient, continuing his paranoid conspiracy theories resurrected from the service of John Birch, and continuing to reveal that he knows nothing about politics or economics that isn't assbackwards.

But he thinks he does. That's what makes him dangerous.

Ehh, crap, I'm breaking out the picture again.

What can I say? It's like 'Bears. With power tools.' Only more intelligible.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

"Look At Me! My Life Is Dedicated To Making The World A Little Worse!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Sandoz, Sandoz, who taught me love.

While Muir has JUST enough sense to deflate Sam's speech somewhat, he still thinks he's making a great point here. Instead, he shows the nihlistic streak that dominates the modern Right, where the point is about finding solutions, it's about finding excuses to believe smug bullshit, and finding the ways in which you're superior than those stupid, evil lefties. This is Muir's chance to present a compelling argument for his cause--and he produces accusatory, self-righteous drabble. Because, despite what he says--wanting to help improve things is an important first step. Intent DOES matter.

Friday, May 14, 2010

"I Told You Those Things Were Of The Devil!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because where the hell am I?

Well, for once Skye is not acting like an asshat to the tenth power.

However, the rest of the cast are their usual charming selves.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Yeah, Liberals! Those Superstitious Heathens! Smite Them Palin!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because if I was half the man I used to be, I'd take a flamethrower to this court!

Aside from the subtle hints that the decades-old coalition between the Christian Right, and the Randian Right is starting to collapse, this one includes the funny sight of Muir insisting that the Left suffers from delusions of oppression.

Muir, a man who's been putting up his delusions of oppression for years now.

Crap, I'll get the picture...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Technically, I Think It'd Be A Choking Hazard...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because I looked, and I saw.

Well, even Muir seems to realize he's got nothin' at the moment.

Also, bears. With power tools.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Again With The Marmots...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because gypsy rover came down from the hills.

You know, I'll ignore another of Muir's typical "oh noes" on behalf of persecuted white guys everywhere to notice--what is it with marmots and sex abuse with this guy? Do they hit off some special bestiality button in his brain? Why MARMOTS?

You know what--forget it. I don't want to know.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Now A Naked Palin Doll On The Other Hand...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because where is my fish?

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Sometimes,what Muir chooses to say makes it clear that he really has nothing to say...

Sunday, May 9, 2010

"They Aren't Comic Books! They're Graphic Novels!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because whoa-whoa-whooo!

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Jesus, is there any thing that these people don't insist must be cast in light of their political beliefs? It's like reading something by a Bizarro-Marxist.

Which is pretty much the case.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Look For The Union-Bashing Libel...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because eventually, there gets to be a caste system--you're either alive or dead.

Yeah. Unions. Look at how evil they are! The US is so lucky they were never that powerful here! Look at the South, where they never quite took root! A Worker's paradise, where you can work the hours your boss wants, earn the money your boss wants to pay, and enjoy a delightful lack of benefits! Because what benefits the wealthiest people in the country, benefits us all! When they get lots of extra money--they can invest it all in the stock market, cause a bubble, and destroy our economy! It's a win-win-win!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Fight The (Not-White, Not-Rich) Power!

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because Inspector Hellman.

No, Muir. You're still working for "the Man". Being against the government doesn't make you against "the Man", as "the Man" is a symbol of entrenched establishment power. Which you always support, provided it's bombing the brown people and helping the rich. In fact, the big reason you don't like Obama is he's been elected President--but he's not a member of "the Man" club.

But nevermind all that. You're a rebel. All those billionares say so! And they have lots of money, so they must be right!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Who Speaks For Middle-Aged White Guys? WHO?

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because yellow bird, high in banana tree.

Oh, yes. Muir's whiny pity party for white chunkheads like him starts up again. Fun...

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Mind Reels At The Stupidity...

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because better call Saul.

Remember--all these things count as the same thing. And prove that Obama is incompetent.
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Yeah. Amazingly, the most successful, highest casualty-producing terrorist attack in American history suggested no such thing about Bush's competence. Even when it was discovered that his adminstration had chosen to more or less ignore the threat Al'Qaeda presented.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Hypocrisy of Stupid.

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because on the big things, you're 100%.

Muir apparently doesn't realize that a lot of what kept the government from doing something was BP's foot shuffling and declarations that everything was under control.

But that's what happens when you ignore a story for weeks at a time. To complain about unions.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Cue Laugh Track

It's the Day's Days of Days! Because she's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor.

Sometimes, this strip is like a lousy syndicated '80s sitcom.

Only with scantily clad women, and a breastfeeding fetish. Can't see the FCC letting them get away with that back then. And more pertinent to the present strip, characters holding the same unnatural pose for several panels.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

"But Don't You See? I Have A Flowchart!"

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because maybe the Viscount of Sylvania will give you a horse.

Muir, a man who cheerfully ignored the Bush Administration's herculean efforts to do away with that whole 'checks and balances' thing, now is convinced that Obama is plunging us towards TYRANNY! Of course, this involves ignoring events of the last year and four months, but--he has a flowchart! And speculation plus charts trumps reality! Everyone knows that.

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We have to keep these people out of power for the next twelve years. By the end of that time, they'll have self-destructed, and we'll be well again. Otherwise--it'll be the Bush administration all over again. Only with us still recovering from the last time.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Was That In The Spirit of Emma Goldman, Or Mikhail Bakunin?

It's the Day's Day of Days! Because it's you and me, baby, that make the world go round.

Skye--her handkerchief magically morphed into the balacava Muir wanted her to be wearing--clearly has no idea what actual anarchism means. While this is completely in "character" with the shrill ignorant "personality" Muir has given her, it is also likely the result of Muir's having no idea himself.