Tuesday, June 30, 2009

...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

It's the Daily Day! Because, I knew him well--a servicable villain, as duteous to the vices of his mistress as badness could require.

So... apparently, feminism is to blame for Letterman's bad joke, and real men (such as, implicitly, Muir) say what they mean.

The amount of self-delusion on display here is genuinely awe-inspiring.

Monday, June 29, 2009

"I'm All For the Chicks, Baby!"

It's the Daily Day! Because novocaine for the soul!

Muir is adamantly against sexism, by which he means speaking against Sarah Palin. And good to see that a lousy joke that was turned into a big issue in a cynical attempt to claim persecution by Alaska's biggest variety act continues to be seen as A REALLY BIG DEAL in right wing circles. I feel for you. Really.

Less Than Meets the Eye!

It's the Daily Day! Because it's log--it's log--it's big--it's heavy--it's wood!

Wow! After leading us to expect another bizarre, incomprehensible movie parody, here Muir merely lightly references a movie, while stating his worldview--that Obama is turning America into a nightmarish Orwellian state where definitions are changed to fit so that things mean whatever those in power wish them to mean.

The problem is that for Muir, like all Square Planet inhabitants, most words already mean the opposite of what the rest of us think they do. So a good part of what's worrying them is nothing more than reality regaining control after 8 years in Bushland.

Why Would Somebody Even Ask That In the First Place?

It's the Daily Day! Because there are no strings on me.

So--Muir proves Obama's evil by having a ridiculous situation play out in his strip. And then he caps it with a sarcastic punchline about how ridiculous the situation is.

Excuse me while I pound my head against a wall for a moment.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The Awesome Support of Making Your Background Green.

It's the Daily Day! Because we all shine on--like the sun, the moon and the stars.

Again, we see Muir treating the view of some liberals as the view of all liberals. But really, that's a side issue here to Muir's terrifyingly simplisitic worldview.

Muir believes that the world divides cleanly into two camps--the Goodies (that is, us) and the Baddies (everyone who doesn't like us). Iran is one of the Baddies, as its handling of the protestors shows and as such should not be dealt with.

The problem of course, is the world isn't like that at all. When Tiananmen Square happened, Bush Sr. wasn't happy, but he still dealt with China.

But hey, I guess he was letting the terrorists win.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

"Any Bonds Today--Those Bonds of Freedom!"

It's the Daily Day! Because abra-abracadabra--I'm going to reach out and grab ya!

Muir's attempt to show his amazing, incredible patriotism flounders against his general crappiness.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Ha! Ha! Those Paranoid Loons!

It's the Daily Day! Because AAAADRIAAAAN!

Muir represents the positions of a few people on the left as the view of the left as a whole, and mocks it for being conspiracy-based, demonstrating once again his lack of class and self-awareness.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Or It Could Be Because So Many Are Bilingual.

It's the Daily Day. Because I believe in miracles.

Once again, from his safe vantage point, Muir demands that Obama do the right thing about Iran--which is the classic Republican technique of egotistically thumping your chest and saying how much you support the rebellious Iranians, then leaving them out to dry when they're labeled American stooges and crushed like ants. The Republican Party--the Party of the Whiny Fat Kid Who Hung Out With the Jocks!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Yee-HA!

It's the Daily Day! Because if we make it through December we'll be fine.

Yeah who's ever dared mess with Texas? Except for... well, Union forces. Mexicans. Assorted other folks. What's clear is that they are the bastion against the evil 1984 dictatorship that Obama is setting up, as well as America's foreign enemies. Or something.

Yeah, You Enjoy That Ice Cream, President Obama! You Enjoy It--In Hell!

It's the Daily Day! Because let me tell you about the way she looked--the way she had to have the color of her hair.

Muir continues his criticism of Obama by noting how dare he go out for ice cream during a crisis.

I'd go into Muir's selective amnesia, but right now the question is--is Muir an arrogant shithead who thinks critics can't see him hypocritically doubling back when it's coveniant for him, or obnoxious moron who doesn't realize that he's doing that? Or is it both somehow?

Muir--Trudeau Wants To Talk To You.

It's the Daily Day! Because I just saw a face.

So--Muir finally breaks his silence on Iran to attack Obama for--being silent on Iran, even though he really hasn't been and has to be careful lest he embrace the protesters to closely causing them to lose all legitimacy with the average Iranian. Muir also seems to ignore the fact that some of the people at the root of the protests are people he wanted dead a few years back. But then, that's what comes of being a fuckwit.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Yeah! That's What the People Want to Hear About!

It's the Daily Day! Because it's the American Dream--includes Indians too!

...

And Day After Day ends week 1 of its real news blackout. The pathetic caricatures that inhabit its strange universe continue to blithely ignore the real world at the whim of their all-powerful leader, Muir. Will they find the strength to follow the Iranians' example and protest the injustice of this deluded criminal regime?

Of course not. They aren't real, sillies.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Easy As ABC!

It's the Daily Day! Because we show you how to be SWELL!

So once again, we focus on ABC broadcasting from the White House Blue Room, which Muir feels represents the evil tentacles of his evil regime spreading their evil influence, evilly.

This is clearly the most important thing happening in the world right now. Far more important than the whole Iran matter. Or the Holocast museum shootings earlier.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Those Doodyheads!

It's the Daily Day! Because release the robotic Richard Simmons!

Right. The media is just so nice to Barack. And he so doesn't deserve it! It's all a conspiracy! A giant conspiracy!

Again--no mention of the major happenings in the real world--just petty minor things that Muir seems convinced show the true story. I should probably start a countdown.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

You Don't Even Know What Ughuir Looks Like, Do You Muir?

It's the Daily Day! Because in a concrete jungle where the living hardest you got to do your very best.

...

...

Yeah. Right. Democrats are letting the terrorists win, you petty, arrogant worthless sack of shit.

Notice that Muir still isn't dealing with any current issues?

Monday, June 15, 2009

"And Remember, War is Peace."

It's the Daily Day! Because Ziggy played guitar.

Ha. This time I know exactly what interweb teapot tempest he's talking about, and of course, Muir demonstrates that like any Square Planet dweller, he thinks the good guy is the bad guy and the bad guy is the good guy. And once again he ignores important issues to focus on Letterman and other ephemeral things, demonstrating what a thouroughly pathetic sack of shit he is.

Sunday Unfunnies.

It's the Daily Day! Because it was the pictures that got small.

And this Sunday, it's yet another incoherant movie "parody"! Yaaay! I like them because there's no real point in analyzing such an utter incomprehensible mess. All I can do is point and say--"whoa."

"I'm Totally Pwning Letterman!"

It's the Daily Day! Because probatum est!

So Muir continues to throw stones from his lovely glass house, all the while ignoring more important news items. Nice.

Friday, June 12, 2009

"Oh. And a Neo-Nazi Shot Up The Holocast Museum. But That's Not Important."

It's the Daily Day! Because I think I'm going to be sad--I think it's todaaaayyyy!

Muir mocks Letterman for a tasteless sexist joke.

The most terribly ironic thing about all of this is that Letterman is actually funny sometimes.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Remember--O-B-A-M-A--Not B-U-S-H.

It's the Daily Day! Because we're going transmetropolitan.

So again--all this economic turbulence is Barack Obama's fault! Oh, if only Bush could have run for a third term!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Yeah! It's All OBAMA's Fault!

It's the Daily Day! Because then we will fight in the shade.

And of course, a little known right wing website is where you find the most accurate diagnosis of complex economic factors.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

UGGH! MANLY!

It's the Daily Day! Because some things don't flush.

So, to handle the abuser, Zed beat the shit out of him, and then sent him to Germany.

Does Muir realize that this is--illegal? That his "hero" in his little macho fit has given the abuser a weapon?

Nah. It was the MANLY thing to do. Ergo, it was right.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Blackmail Is Such An Ugly Word. I Prefer Extortion.

It's the Daily Day! Because apple scrumping!

So, this is Muir's answer? A convoluted scheme involving threats and incriminating photographs?

Jeez. This stupidity isn't even worth the effort to explore.

Oh, I Think "Lost" Works Better.

It's the Daily Day! Because Caroline, no!

...

...

Muir needs help.

MANLY!

It's The Daily Day! Because in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight.

...Yeah, I can see where this is going.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Oh. More of This. Great.

It's The Daily Day! Because nobody else can save you.

...

And we return to the godawful plot of suck which Muir think proves something about terrorism.

Joy.

That Wimpy War Hero, Kerry! What a Loon!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because yipes!

I'll pass over another cheap shot at Kerry to point out that Jan's objections on Iraq have always been right, something the comic refuses to acknowledge.

And yet Muir thinks he's the guy standing up for "reality".

See! The Ends Justify the Means!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I hear the level bee.

And that's why we did this. What's that? WMDs? Well--LOOK OVER THERE!

Muir and Integrity.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because where am I?

"Silencing him is the only responsible thing for a journalist to do!"

Also, Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I want to kiss you all over.

"Right. 'Cause they're in such good shape right now. And clearly--any sort of retreat from our present situation is cutting and running. I have the seen the light, and no longer want to let the terrorists win."

Proud to Be a Know-Nothing!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because may you meet with di Luna.

Yeah. Take that Froggie! All your objections to our war were clearly false, as the WMDS... LOOK OVER THERE!

How Dare They Exploit Our Cannon Fodder!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because puttin' on style don't pay in politics.

Yeah. That's why they focus on death, Muir. Not because of the suffering they cause. And how dare they. It lets the terrorists win.

Repetition is the Key. Repetition.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I killed that fat barkeep.

Yeah! Remember how stupid Dan Rather is? Well, you should!

This Proves That I'm Right!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm filled with smaller men!

Yeah! Byrd was in the KKK once! So there!

How Do I Loathe You? Let Me Count the Ways.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because if vacillation dwell with the heart the soul shall rue it.

Like I said--let a disaster happen here! We'd show those UN eggheads how it's done!

He Didn't Just Say That...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because what's good enough for you is good enough for me.

...

...

...

Jesus that stupid FUCK.

What Is This 'Straw Man'?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm everyday people.

Boy that imaginary CNN journalist sure is an effete wimp, eh?

Nonexistantgate!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because this is a poopy suit.

Actually, that's not what she did, but then, accuracy is not Muir's strong point.

Look at how he's handled the Plame issue so far.

Hey! Maybe Another Joke Would Be Funny!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he will be Levon, and he will be a good man.

Muir doubles down on his Clinton search engine joke. Once again, we are forced to advise him to never try actual gambling.

Punchline Optional.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Trumpy! You can do magic things!

Actually, it's a New Jersey based company that uses Clinton as a spokesper--

Ahh, never mind.

You Mean Like The Poor People's March?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Cream, sh'boogie bop!

Muir uses King--a believer in nonviolence who conservatives hated when he was alive--to justify the Iraqi War.

Once again, he shows us he's not just a moron. He's a vile moron.

Oh, Jan, You Kooky Liberal.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you would not survive in my world.

Everyone knows global warming is a hoax, like gravity.

The Dead Horse is Now Pulp.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I WILL kill him!

Ahh. More relentless Rather mocking. I wonder if Muir realizes Dan is an ex-Marine?

Dialogue Sure Is Getting Disjointed, Isn't It?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because a carrion crow sat in an oak.

...

Well, glad to see Muir admitting his cast have no actual personalities.

The Cranks Shall Rule Over All!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because after midnight, we're gonna let it all hang down.

Yeah. Right. Sure, Muir. You guys are the 'future'. Which is suspiciously like the past.

Ooookay...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the poor dog was drowned.

...

Muir's motto--any Republican wrongdoing has an equivalent Democratic wrongdoing, even if the Republican wrongdoing is clearly more severe. Also, metaphors don't have to make any coherant sense.

Ooooh, Make a Charitable Donation, Stud!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we're going to Kashmir.

My God, the man can make cancer donations seem dirty.

Feel the Latent Irony.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because obey the fist!

Dumb UN! They can't organize humanitarian efforts right! Just watch! If a disaster happened in the US, you'd see how much better we could do it!

On the Square Planet, Cheese Eats Mice!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Albert (the Logical Postivist) Corillo.

Of course in the real world, the UN headed relief efforts, but hey, on the Square Planet their only job is to screw up.

Ohh, Snap! Yes, I Know. I Hate Me To, Sometimes.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because a nation blonde-haired, blue-eyed supermen--ruled by a brown-haired Fueher.

...

Why does Muir make everything feel so sordid? Why?

Neither Can We.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Tenser, said the Tensor.

Why hasn't Mystery Business(tm) gone belly up yet? Are the stockholders too dazed from cocaine and hookers to notice that it doesn't do anything?

Edumacation Makes You Corruptible!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because not like that phony Saturday that almost got me fired.

Muir seems to suggest that Republicans poor langauge skills makes them honest.

That poor, poor moron.

Widget Production Must Be Insured!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because there is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his Prophet.

What the hell do these people DO, damn it? We've had one storyline about a finished project, and NO indication of what their office actually does...

Waha! Take That Rather! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Lord, I gotta keep on moving.

Muir continues to kick Rather while he's down. Actually, it strikes me as more pathetic than Rather's situation at the time.

End of the Road, Media!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I am the Lizard King.

That's right! You've been completely superceded by random cranks writing about the stuff your articles!

2005--Where We All Learned That the Republicans Were Full of Shit.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

Interestingly, as we head into the new year, Muir's sanity seems to slip several levels.

It'll be fun to see just when he reaches his present state of paranoid delusion where he just knows Obama and the Democrats are planning a raid on his house, any day now.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

What You Talkin' 'Bout, Muir?

It's the Daily Day! Because you're standing on my toe.

This strip really shows how the distance between the square planet and Earth has increased of late.

Also, how Muir's language skills have apparently degraded concurrently.

If Yur Against Us, You Must Be Stupid.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because chariots of the gods!

The only reason the left hates right wing blogs is envy. They fear our sophisticated repartee, the boogerheads.

A Festering Cesspool of Corruption!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because they call me mellow yellow--quite rightly.

At the risk of belaboring the obvious--while I'm not saying the UN is perfect, it's a better organization than Muir thinks it is.

Especially compared to Muir's twin holy grails--the Republican Party and the Bush Administration.

Don't Ever Bet On Horses, Muir.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because SAMPO!

Yep. Iran will topple--any day now. Within a year, tops.

A Man of Infinite Jest!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you're probably wondering why I'm here. So am I.

...

...

...

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

Pffft. That Liberal Kook.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because to chase the impossible dream.

Imagine! Suggesting that the embedding of journalists with military units could bias them! What nerve! They're letting the terrorists win! USA! USA!

Linedancing! Ahh, Muir, You Lunatic You!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Mama's got a squeeze box.

I see the bloom is well off the Schwarzenegger rose.

Ahh. The Imaginary War On Christmas. Joy.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I saw my opportunities and I took 'em.

It's a pity Jan's not Jewish. That would nicely point out why some stores do the "Happy Holiday" thing in the first place...

Comparing a Jewish Senator to Hitler. Niiiiice.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because hellzapoppin!

Yeah. Actually--he didn't. Unless you intentionally ironically misinterpert what "one person one vote" means, of course.

Sure, Muir. Sure.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because don't step on the grass, Sam.

Yeah. Because the Republicans aren't going to tie up an election with recounts. Not ever. Nope. That's a Democrat thing. Close elections should just automatically go to the Republican with no recount.

I mean, it worked so well in 2000.

A Blog That's Still Posting. Amazing!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because relentless he sinks his sword in the chest of Turnus.

Ha! That patsy of the establishment! Anyone who denies our bizarre obssessions is a fruitcake! No true blogger she!

It's a Conspiracy, I Tell You!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because wilt thou thus unkind reave me.

Or you could say that the New York Times doesn't particularly care about phony prizes a competitor hands out. But wait, that would require sanity. Forgot about that part.

Cue Porno Music.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the mysterious flame of Queen Loana.

...

...

...

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

"Uh--Yeah--No Proper Names..."

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because one love.

And yet another hearty shout out to a fellow minor league right-winger. Always fun, Muir. Always.

"They're Threatened By Our Crappiness!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because burning down the house!

"How dare the servants of the Illuminati paint us as a bunch of paranoid lunatics!"

Obnoxious In Any Color.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because no one writes to the colonel.

...

I'm still trying to figure what the point of that one was. Besides the fact that Damon can strike you as an asshole even while he's being nice.

Rich Was the Defining Issue of the Clinton Presidency!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because this is the strangest life I've ever known.

Of course, Rich also had lots of friends among the Republicans, including fellow recepiant of Presidental largesse Lewis "Scooter" Libby, but that doesn't matter.

It doesn't. He only proves how evil the Clintons are.

Yeah! You Guys are the Real Racists! Anti-Irish Racists!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because to the glory that was Greece and the grandeur that was Rome.

Every liberal automatically agrees with anything Hillary Clinton says. It's a law.

The War's Going Great! Do You Hear Me? GREAT!!!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I called myself Pip and came to be called Pip.

Ha! That's right! Abandon the journalist to die in the desert!

Trying to Bounce Back From Defeat? HA! Morons!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because no more I'll go waltzing Matilda.

Heh heh! You've got me in stitches! It's a Republican nations feebs! We've won! And you're never going to win again!

Oh, Like Dean Could Help You...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I will cradle you, I will guard you. Sleep, sleep, and dream.

Ha! Dean as DNC Chairman? Prepare to lose, Dems! You guys are FINISHED!

Where's the Joke, Muir?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because by Crom!

...

...

I feel so unclean.

The Democratic Party = Eastern European State!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because call me Ishamael.

Ha! You are finished Dems! Everyone knows you people hate democracy and are incapable of adjusting to changing times. Ha! HA! This is OUR nation now!

Muir Doesn't Gloat. He Wallows.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's 'Notre Dame de Paris' actually. Not 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'.

Yeah! Eat it, Dems! You suck now, and we rule! This is the beginning of our permanent majority! You guys are OVER!

Moore! He's Also Fat!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because thus conquered Godfrey.

...

The wit and wisdom of Chris Muir.

Is nonexistant.

O'Reilly! He's Fat!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because white as lilies was her face.

Yeah. If a liberal were saying this, Muir would be blowing a gasket.

Run, Annan! Run!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I think we're alone now.


That's right! Do you see now, libs, what a den of corruption your precious UN is? Why can't it be good and virtuous, like the Republican party?

Ha. Ha. Ha.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because o Brother, where art thou?

...

...

...

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

Where's the Punchline?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because goodnight, Irene.

Ahh, one of Muir's awkward panel 2 infodumps, here used in the defense of his beloved Interweb against O'Reilly's mighty scourge.

...

...

Goodie.

You Think This Is New, Muir?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because all through the night.

Apparently, Muir thinks O'Reilly is a bit of a jerk at times. This is sort of like noting that rain is a bit damp.

Metaphor, You Fuckwit! It's a METAPHOR!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because strange days have found us.

Muir, thinking he's exposing what a feeb Rather is, demonstrates what a thick-headed lunk he is. It's ironylicious!

I Can Kick a Man When He's Down! EASY!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because by the Love that moves the Sun and other stars.

Ahh, Muir. Attacking a venerable journalist when he's down.

I almost forgot how smug early 2005 was...

The Mandatory Guest Strip

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because MORE?

You know, it's easy to become convinced that Muir is some kind of inhuman being from a twisted alternate universe devoid of human connections and emotions. But he is a human being with parents and family members, like anyone else--a fact we must in the end remember.

That said, he's still pretty damn loathsome.

As for the guest strip occasioned by various personal tragedies--the sad thing is in many ways, it's an improvement.

Flow, Crocodile Tears.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Hercules is in this movie.

Yeah. Clearly, they'd want us to get more people killed fighting in a nation that had nothing to do with 9/11.

And I here I thought raping the dead was an extra-icky crime.

It's GOT To Be a Conspiracy

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because uneasy is the head that bears the crown.

"The fact that our bizarre, rambling incoherant charges fail to attract the attention that succinct easily understandable ones do is PROOF that people are out to get us!"

We EXPOSE the Evil Liberal Plot!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because do Salieri.

Of course, the actual source of the questionable memo--which resembles actual memos typed about Bush according to one secretary--remains unknown. And Rove specializes in this sort of ratfuck. But... nah.

Wheel of Moronity, Turn, Turn, Turn.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Pierre Menard, Author of Don Quixote.

Yeah! Any position aside from "America, Fuck Yeah!" is wishy washy bullshit meant to hide our amazing triumph in Iraq!

"Ass" and "Class" Are Not Synonyms, Muir. Even If They Do Rhyme.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as best I could.

Yet more probing of racial matters through the agency of Chris Muir's Imaginary Black Friend. Bravo, Muir. Bravo.

Holy Shit! Zed Can Teleport!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because down and out in London.

Hah! Like Kerry could handle the not-a-quagmire triumph that is Iraq better than this administration.

Chris Muir's Many Shades of Loathsome.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I meant in the Pickwickian sense.

...

Wow. Almost everything I hate about Muir--in one strip. Christmas comes early this year.

How DARE You, William Jefferson Clinton!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those Swiftboaters are patriotic Americans who only want to serve their country by spreading lies about the record of a fellow veteran! And you--you wish to persecute them for this. That, sir, is letting the terrorists win!

He's Actually A Corpse!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the stars my destination.

Boy, what can Republicans do to help them with the coolness gap? Aside from not being asshats, of course, which is the party's raison d'etre.

Wrath of God Edition.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because this is what I believe.

Wow. Nothing like some cheerful fourth-wall breaking when facing catastrophe.

Wha... That Was a Joke?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm a branded man out in the cold.

...

...

...

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Muir Champions Good Grammar. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

It's the Daily Day! Because don't go in there.

Yeah, Muir. The English language doesn't--you know--develop. And you're in such a good position to talk.

Also--is this is as close you're going to come to acknowledging Dr. Tiller's murder? If so, I'll place this in your "Cowardly Asshole" file...

It's Not His Fault English Is Like a Third Language To Him!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the man who beat the bank.

"Focus on Bush's admirable trait. He's an irrational, megalomaniacal warmonger!"

You Dirty, Dirty, Dirty Girls!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Irish need not apply.


...

Was there a point to that? Besides demonstrating that Muir is scared of women and black people and doesn't like to acknowledge that?

Ooh, Baby. Oooh.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Mary, Mary, quite contrary.

Sometimes this strip makes me feel like I'm crawling through a sewer.

Couldn't You Just Smear Them With Honey?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

...

...

...

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

You Can't Handle the Right-Wing Truth!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Arthur, King of the Britons!

That's right, libs! Your days are numbered! The awesome success of this administration will bury you! The Republican paryt will have a permanent majority! Government will be small enough to drown in a bathtub! And we will unilaterally strike out at all our enemies, whenever they piss us off! Wooo!

Well, At Least It's Not More Kerry Bashing.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because DJANGOOOO!

...

...

...

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOO BEARS!!!!

I Don't Believe It...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Klaatu barada nikto!

So remember kids--draft dodgers are braver than war heros.

Wingnuts Know Wingnut News.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because denial is an ugly thing, Carl.

Like so many things that Muir says, this seems to have vanished mysteriously. I've been unable to find the story.

It Makes Us Fucktards Love Them More!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because help Sammael!

God, the amount of mammoth self-delusion in this one...

Always Bet On the Side of Evil!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because she's tight--she's one of a kind.

"That's how we know the Swift Boaters are telling the truth! The fact that they talk so slow."

So MSNBC's Ratings Are Up...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because dum dum da duam!

Why the hell does this even matter? And what was the damned book?

Those Ingrates!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I got a hankering for some streudal.

Can't they see that our imperium is for their own good, the filthy moon-worshipping savages?

Right, Them...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he vas... my boyfriend!

He's talking about the guys who still wanted us out of their country, of course. But that would mean "checking your facts" wouldn't it?

On the Square Planet, Attics are Under the House!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because find the lady.

Of course in the real world, the Swift Boaters were blatantly full of shit, but hey--you can't expect that sort of detail from a visitor from the Square Planet.

Pffft. Guys in a War Zone Should Just Know Where They Were!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because get yourself a bucket of chicken.

...

Damn it, I can't wait for 2004 to end.

Stupid Indian Call Centers!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because that's the way it's done--Cajun style!

Yeah. He deserved that.

Ha! Ha! Look at That Blue Helmeted Wimp!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because down in skid row.

And that's why we should get into more wars! To make sure our awesome army is even more awesome!

You Evil Fuck.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because a pleasing sound is made when the mouth is round.

Yeah. The Democrats don't respect Clevland. That's why they had him speak at the convention, and ran him for election in Georgia. And the Republicans do. That's why they ran campaigns accusing him of cowardice.

Muir, you are worthless sack of shit.

This Proves They're Telling the Truth!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's the new Mother Nature taking over.

"Yeah! How dare they attack our professional slanderers with their sleazy pasts? It's Unamerican!"

Always Willing to Sink a Little Lower.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'm a good man, but a bad wizard.

So after smearing Kerry endlessly, Muir declares that Kerry is evil for smearing. The Right-Wing. A Moral Compass just gets in the way and lets the terrorists win.

Yeah--They're Just Like the Klan, Man!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because they were not in the fields they knew.

...

So the entire fucking point of that strip is to make a pun connecting a newspaper syndicate to the Klan?

God, I hate Muir.

Vegetables Are For the Weak!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because she was an unknown legend in her time.

Ha! Ha! Good one Sam! How dare Jan have different tastes in food!

Interesting Personalities Maybe?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he sings the songs that remind him of the good times.

...

...

...

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

Yeah! They'd Use It to Build a Bomb! Right?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because RANMA!

Muir demonstrates the ancient right-wing art of not knowing what the fuck you're talking about.

Ship the Indians Back to Africa!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because in here, it's always Friday.

"Bush should realize that the only proper response to foreign brown people is to kill them!"

But--They Aren't Even a Government... Oh, Nevermind...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we don't believe in war. We only kill out of personal spite.

"Man, I love being in this strip. I don't even have to make coherant points, just keep the smart ass retorts coming and get everyone one of them recorded as a win."

Ahh, McCain...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it must be true!

So--does Muir support McCain's opinions? Or does he think that he's being a gloryhound and a goofball? I honestly can't tell.

Everyone Knows Only Republican Vets Count!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because don't panic.

So remember--Kerry sucks because he's a war hero.

Hee! Hee! He Was Attacked By a RABBIT! Remember?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because all I can say is my life is pretty strange.

Oooh! A Carter joke! How timely!

Small Businesses--Like Your Friendly Local Megacorporation.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he was the night rider!

Yeah, Muir, that's what Democrats want to do. No way they want to increase the burden on the wealthy to a reasonable amount so we can finance all those wars you're so fond of.

Take It Up Your Vain War Hero Ass, Kerry!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I sense a disturbance in the Force as if a million voices cried out at once and were silenced.

"Yeah, Kerry could have been a REAL war hero, like me, a lazy black asshole who strikes moral poses from the safety of my office."

Muir, you are an ignorant pig-raping fucktard.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

It's All True! I Hear It On My Fillings!

It's the Daily Day! Because when you wish upon a star.

...

...

Maybe Muir needs medication.

On second thought, let the bastard start pulling his teeth out looking for the "chip".

Dick Cavett? Maybe?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Casey the pride of them all.

...

...

...

Oh, 2008 is going to be so sweet...

Hell, 2006 is going to be sweet.

Wow! More Defunct Websites! Amazing!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because man was in the forest.

...

...

You know, the more you look at the strip, the worse it parses.

Oh, What Hypocrites! You Stab Them to the Quick, Muir!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you finally did it, didn't you?

"Oh, come on. We all know the right-wing journals call whoever is running "the most liberal fill-in-the-blank". And we all know most of them think anyone left of the John Birch Society is approaching socialism. I say we just ignore this idiocy and run."

Muir, You Are a Vile, Stupid Sack of Horseshit.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'll be right here.

...

And now, Muir, chickenhawk supreme, joins in the slanders of Kerry's Vietnam record. Nice. You really honor the troops, you worthless cowardly bag of piss. And what a patriot.

And then you have the gall to wonder why people don't like you. Asshole.

Only Wilson WASN'T. Jesus, Muir.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because no reply. No reply.

See, this is the problem with wingnuts. They think all their charges stick, even when most of them don't. So they spout with utter conviction lies--malicious lies--and think they hold the moral high ground.

But then, we can't let the terrorists win, can we?

On the Square Planet Beer Makes You Sober!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Paul is a wahrwelf.

...

...

...

Muir really should try listening to the actual news. It'd help bring him in line with--you know--reality.

Anything To Save Time, Ehhh, Muir?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I want to be anarchy.

And of course, the Republican Free Speech Zones don't exist...

Asshole.

Chirac Even Sounds Like Jerk!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it makes a good pot cover.

Why don't the stupid Frogs realize that they owe us unhesitating allegiance, regardless of our actions, because of WWII? Ehh?

Ha ha.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because child of the moon.

...

...

Sometimes I honestly ask myself why I do this. I really do.

And It's Not Spaghetti--It's Linguini!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the only one getting fat is Mama Cass.

...

He's not even trying to give coherant arguments, is he?

Oh, why am I pretending this is something new...?

What the Hell...?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because secret--agent--man!

...

Was Muir feverish when he wrote that one, maybe?

More Proof of the Clinton Criminal Conspiracy!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I wish I had Jesse's girl.

...Of course, now we know Berger just took copies, not the original documents, which remained where they were, the whole matter seems suspiciously like a patented right wing tempest in a tea cup, but hey, them's the breaks.

What an Amazing Conincidence!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because do the hustle.

Sometimes, Muir almost seems able to realize the smallest portion of the truth. But then the fact that he's insane pulls him back from the brink.

"Don't They See America Needs Four More Years of Bush?"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it takes the right stuff.

...

There's just so much to loathe about Muir sometimes, it's hard to pick out where to start.

Protocols of the Elders of Newsweek!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because beans, beans, the magic fruit!

...

...

...

The worst thing about Muir is that he thinks he's smart and insightful.

Waha! Take That, Whoopi! Take That!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because nobody should die alone.

How dare she mock the God-King? A Republican President is beyond reproach!

Democratic Presidents on the other hand are moronic mouth-breathing scum.

Wha?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because evil mind, evil sword.

Exposed? Real issues? What the...

A CIA agent's cover being blown doesn't constitute a real issue? Joseph Wilson was "exposed"? As... what?

This is the problem with coming from the Square Planet. You get real important things wrong.

Wingnuts Loved It.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because pigs on the wing!

Treating Dick Cheney as charismatic and well-liked. Thank you, man of the square planet.

Asshole.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because sit on it and rotate!

...

Muir, you are a piece of racist slime.

Didn't Want to Hear That, Muir.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because 54-40 or fight!

...

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Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

Damn Stupid Taxes! Making Me Pay My Share!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because stand and unfold yourself.

"Yeah, I'm not paying at all this year. I got a shack in the woods, and a load of mines. If the government wants to take on the republic of Sam, they're welcome to."

"It's Got a Lousy Pun!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Hong Kong Phooey!

...

See, Muir, it's a form of irony when you state a foolish reason to support your cause and give it as a...

Oh, never mind.

What the Hell Does That Even Mean?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the sheep are nervous.

Because Muir never has to say anything meaningful when he can pull out a nonsensical but vaguely witty sounding retort.

Up Yours, Muir.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you can have it all--my empire of dirt.

Jesus, even his apologies are half-assed.

Wha--Halliburton? What is This 'Halliburton'?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because let's stay together.

Yeah! That's right. We don't need the stupid corrupt UN to let the terrorists win! We're doing fine in this war that we are most certainly not losing so just shut your mouth. USA! USA!

Resistance is FUTILE!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because a one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater.

Well, it's good to see Zed and Sam acknowledging that they're a hivemind.

So--Food Porn, Then.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the chickens are flying.

So, reading about food they would never, never dare to eat.

Sounds so--Muir, doesn't it?

USA! USA! Don't Let the Terrorists Win!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because out of college, money spent, see no future, pay no rent.

Yeah, I know what you mean. An out of focus picture of a flag waving always gets you right here. In the kidneys.

"I Am Not a Pant Size! I Am a Free Woman!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I love you, Alice B. Tokias.

...

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Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

Ever Read 'Berenice'?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the signpost up ahead says--the Twilight Zone.

...

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Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

"Eight Hours--Tops!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because southern man!

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Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

I'm Guessin' You Didn't Like "Generation Kill", Muir.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because caw caw.

Yeah! See liberals? These colors don't run! USA! USA! USA! Don't let the terrorists win!

Yep! Michael Moore is Fat! In the Weight Way!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because when the man comes around.

And again... watch the delicious, delicious irony drip off this one.

Also Gobbledygook Fahoy!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the children are going to love Easter Morning.

...

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WHAT THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE'S SAYING?

Yep. ACT Is Worth Two Strips. Sure.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because sad old men who run this town.

"Well, technically, we don't employ ACT, so, really--what they do is not our business. Next question."

...Right...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because be in my video!

...

And meanwhile, people are dying in Iraq.

Basting In Its Own Irony.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we killed the wren for Robin the Bobbin.

"How dare she make such unwarranted accusations against our beloved leaders, who are the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human beings we've ever known in our lives."

Five Years Later...

"OBAMA IS PLOTTING AGAINST US ON THE MOON! WE HAVE PROOF!"

Stay Classy, Muir.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because everything I want, he gives it to me.

Yeah. Nice one. Who's the one whining about how liberals act like 12 year olds?

Nice Way To Avoid Drawing Things, Muir

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because oooooh, I need a dirty woman. Ooooh, I need a dirty girl.

"For example, if you're a conservative blowhard with a shaky grip on reality and no ability to accurately gauge facts, you'd say yes. But you'd be full of shit."

Apparently, Yes, He Is.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because who are the brain police?

Right. It's not like they might have changed their minds on a complex and shifting situation.

Oh, well. It's not like there will ever be something that fits the whole quantum thing better. Like a Vice President deciding he belongs to both the executive AND legislative branches based on whichever is most conveniant to him.

Well, Hey, If They're Against Commies, They Can't Be All Bad!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because ding dong dell.

...

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Is Damon going for some kind of standing in one spot record?

Ha Ha HA! Bestiality!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the power of Christ compels you!

Aside from another example of Muir's love of accusing his opponents of being animal fuckers, this strip does raise an interesting point? Who does speak for middle-aged right-wing white guys? Aside from the vast wealth and accumulated priviledge of the group as a whole of course.

Who Do They Think They Are?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because General Tso's CHICKEN!

Boy, isn't it embarassing that these liberals think they're cool? Chris Muir's imaginary black friend sure thinks so!

"Why Don't They Just Sit Back And Whine?"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's cold outside!

Wow. Just... feel the irony of this one. Hold it. Revel in it.

Goodnight Sweet President! May Flights of Demons See Thee to The Festering Pits of Hell.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because this ain't rock'n'roll--this is GENOCIDE!

"*sniff* He taught me to hate guys like me--something I'll always thank him for."

Where Does He Get These Things?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the famer in the dell.

Does Muir have any idea on how big CBS is? Does he have any idea what the report he sites actually says? And why do I put these in the form of questions when I know the answer is "no"?

Yep. Peroxide Love is the Only Flaw Fox Has.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I give a flower to the great big cop.

...

So this all Jan can say to "Fair and Balanced"?

Ex-hume! Get It!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because krill! Krill!

...

...

...

Moving on.

Dan Rather Will Pay!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the king of the potato people.

"Or maybe I'll just sit on my ass and do nothing, while making various empty threats."

And I still haven't found the incident he's referring to, which I suspect was a bit of right wingnuttery only loosely based in reality...

Shame! SHAME!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because chain-chain-chain--chain of fools.

Yes, look at those evil Democrats! Smiling during Reagan's funeral! They must be rejoicing over his death! There's no way that they can merely be happy to see each other!

Stupid Bias! Why Can't You Admit Reagan Was Without Sin?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because yakkity sak!

"Yep. I know nobody trusts the media! That's what Fox tells me!"

Suck It, Dan Rather! Suck It!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because sky rockets in flight--afternoon delight!

Yeah! Now you'll have to admit Reagan was the greatest President EVAR!

"And Don't Get Me Started On Linux!"

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because yohoho and a bottle of rum.

So Damon bases his computer choices on puns. God, I hate this dipshit.

Thou Shalt Have No Other God But Reagan.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because take my hand, baby.

"Yeah--I remember when he flew out to Berlin and tore the wall down with his bare hands! *sniff* Good times."

I Smell Lawsuit!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I feel good.

Oh, wait--there's at least one other person who works there who is completely invisible. This creates even more bothersome questions...

How Does This Place Function?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I am both a source of wit in myself and the cause of wit in others.

So--wait--they are in fact, the only people who work at Mystery Business(tm)?

...

That explains a lot. But leaves a lot of disturbing questions open...

Competence? What's That?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because you say it's yer birthday.

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Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!

So Sam's a Scanner.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because will our heros get to the old mill in time?

Oh, yeah. He deserved that.

Supermodels = Skinny! HAHA!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the harder they come the harder they fall, one and all.

Good one, Muir 9000. You sure now how to get a--

BURY THE AXE IN THE CIRCUITBOARDS! NOOOOOWW!

Those Wacky Syrians!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because "M" is for the many ways she hurt me...

So you see, it's not our fault that we occasionally blow up an Iraqi wedding.

Heh! Al Gore! What a Loser!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Swiss or Jarlsberg?

Yeah. How dare he be mad at the guy who "beat"* him ruining America? Doesn't he see that we can only save freedom by destroying it? He's letting the terrorists win! USA! USA!


*If by "beat" you mean, "had the election thrown to him by the Supreme Court".

Damon--Armchair Warrior!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because here is that rainbow I've been praying for.

"So we were right to start a war for dubious causes, lowering our standing in the world, with it looking increasingly clear that it will not achieve its supposed goals and has damaged our long term goals?"

"Hey--shut up! I--I just silenced you with a half-assed rejoinder!"

Pffft. Al Gore.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I am a Happy Prince!

Yeah. Gore is such a simpleton with his enviromentalist garbage. Aren't we glad Bush is the president?

No. No we weren't.

Not Like

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I want a girl in a short skirt and a long jacket.

...

You know, leaving aside the whole--"how did Zed even do that?" problem--I have to ask--why doesn't anybody monitor these four morons, who waste time endlessly, and constantly screw up?

Ha! Now Everyone Gets to See Sam's Boobies!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because beware Fantomas!

...

I hope Mystery Business(tm) takes some strong action for this.

HA! He Took a Picture of Her Boobies!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we want rain!

...

Somehow, Muir makes jokes that wouldn't normally offend me offensive.

A Crash Course For Wackiness!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because 'Zounds!

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Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOOO BEARS!!!

Zed and Sam, Eh?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I can't hear you, Ma-Yo-naise.

Ha. Ha. They are baffled by a cell phone. Ha. Ha.

God Bless This Online Order And All the Items in This Online Order

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because duck and cover!

Most people view getting an order with an absence of hassle a good thing. Zed and Sam consider it a divine action, as if its proof that they really are the center of the universe.

All the Traits We've Come to Loathe!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Fifi--I don't know no Fifi!

So--Zed and Sam--they're old! They're creepy! They're annoying!

And Then--They'd Leave Dog Crap on Our Front Steps!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we all hate one another.

Yeah. Stupid liberals! The terrorists would follow us home if we pulled out of Iraq--which is totally not a quagmire, so stop saying that, and which he absolutely had to invade--so we got to stay the course, man! We can't let the terrorists win! USA! USA!

It's All the Fault of Achilles

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because mommy's all right--daddy's all right--they just seem a little weird.

...

Maybe Mystery Business(tm) is obligated to hire schizophrenics.

Chris Muir Gives a Shout Out To All His Homies.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because it's like a party in my mouth--and everyone's invited.

Did Muir just use a shout out to his fans to avoid having a real punchline?

And what's his excuse for the rest of his strips?

You Guys Want the Number of a Good Civil Lawyer?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Shakespeare's Gay Boys in Bondage!

...

God, I loathe Damon.

How Dare a Democrat Drive an SUV!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Carribean Queen!

So--Al Gharaib--not worth an indepth mention. Kerry's SUV--comedy gold, AND demonstrates a major personality flaw.

'Apologies' Doesn't Cover It, Muir.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because he's a chicken, I tell you! A giant chicken!

So the proof that Damon is more in touch with the real world is that he has vivid daydreams involving a popular scifi movie?

Yeah. Right.

It's the Same DAMN Drawing!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because gosh, Wally.

"Yeah. Think I'll sit on my ass and think about that. And then I'll criticize the Left. That'll show my dedication to this great nation, and the sacrifices others have made."

She Thinks She's People.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because hey man, nice shot.

Yeah. Jan, that kook. Thinking she knows what the hell she's talking about. She lacks the superior ability that conservatives have to know the truth regardless of the mere facts.

Have They No Decency?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because springtime for Hitler--and Germany!

How dare the evil liberal media report on our glorious holy war in a negative way? Don't they see they're letting the terrorists win?

...What the...?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because aardvarks!

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THIS IS HIS RESPONSE TO SCANDAL INVOLVING GROTESQUE TORTURE?!!!

Ooooh! Burn!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Childe Roland to the dark tower came.

Yeah. That proves whatever Kennedy is saying doesn't count. Way to go, Muir.

See? See? EVIL!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because ride the wild mouse.

So... we don't have to apologize for torturing people because Muslims are just bad?

Stupid Limeys.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because under the boardwalk down by the sea, on a blanket with my baby is where I'll be.

*snort* How dare a British person have an opinion on us! Didn't we kick their asses-TWICE--and save their asses--TWICE?

Well, At Least They're Admitting War Crimes Happened In Vietnam...

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the moon isn't made out of green cheese. It's made out sharp cheddar.

"I mean, aside from becoming a vocal critic of the War and forming Vietnam Veterans Against the War, you were completely silent on the matter."

PUNS! PUNS! PUNS!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because we go dancing in the attic.

...

Bears! BEARS! BEARS! GOOOOOO BEARS!!!

And Then a Miracle Occured.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because the king--the king's to blame.

This strip is almost funny.

Of course, it's more half-assed pun, and is based in understanding a 1960s slang term derived from a Heinlein novel, but you have to give Muir credit for almost hitting the target, for once.

Why is Sam Even There?

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because Tom Bombadil!

...

Man, even the characters seemed to realize the pun was a desperate way to wrap up the strip.

Pfft. Purple Heart, "Smurple Heart".

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because his mother is a jackal.

Of course, severity of the wound has nothing to do with recieving the Purple Heart, and the award they're talking about was his first one, not his third. But those are just--well, facts. A war hero doesn't deserve to be held to those. Not if he's a Democrat.

A Match Made In Hell!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because I'd like to be below the sea, in an Octopus's Garden--in the shade.

...

...

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I really can't get through 2004 fast enough for my taste.

Ha! Ha! Hillary = Witch! Ha! Ha!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Care to help a fellow American who's down on his luck?

...

I'm getting the distinct impression that Muir loathes Hillary not because she's liberal, but because she's a liberal woman who's dared to get elected to the Senate.

It's "O'Reilly", Muir! "O'Reilly"!

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because hey--ho--let's go!

Yeah. Boy isn't it amazing how right-wing blowhards piss liberals off? Why don't they simply accept the fact that they're stupid morons who smell bad?

Paid For By the Comittee to Fuck Over America.

It's All Our Yesterdays! Because so long, Marianne.

So... tongue-tied Bush gets women better than Kerry, who's a glory seeker. And a weakling. A war medal winning weakling.

When recycling Republican talking points, Muir always manages to create a special brand of idiocy that's all his own.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Help! We're Being Oppressed!

It's the Daily Day! Because He gave us sweet cherry wine.

What bugs the hell out of me with Muir's--and the right wing's--little paranoid delusions is how they paint themselves as the champions of our rights. Of course, I've gone through nearly two years of strips with Muir justifying almost any trampling of our rights with cries of "9/11!" (Though to give him credit sometimes he does have the occasional moment of clarity and revulsion.) The fact is, the right wing considers any criticism "oppression", and thinks it's their right to be considered the gospel of the USA. This means their ability to see actual--you know, dangerous civil rights violations is rather limited.

"Boy I Wish We Were Back at Bush's Waterboard Express."

It's the Daily Day! Because cheese is people.

So remember--every discredited paranoid fantasy of the right wing is real, because the conspirators are covering it all up. Which shows how powerful they are. And Obama is wrecking everything! It's true!

...

I'm not sure whether to place the right wing's belief in their own basic infallibility at delusion, rank stupidity or gall. It might be any combination of the three together.

See! SEE! Reverse Racism!

It's the Daily Day! Because 'tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free.

So remember--because of one comment by Sotomayor, we can tell she's like a Hispanic member of the KKK.

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...

Christ, Muir is one racist fuck. And the worst part is--he thinks he isn't.